


Lumos

by alanabloom



Series: every Me and every You [3]
Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3835426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alanabloom/pseuds/alanabloom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Vause is a half-blood Slytherin, raised by her muggle mother with a Death Eater dad she never even met.  She's ousted by her own house because of her blood status, and loathed by the rest of the school for a legacy she wasn't even aware of.  Piper Chapman is a pureblood, legacy Ravenclaw, as smart and impressive as she's expected to be.  </p><p>My nerdiest indulgence of an AU.  Two-shot.  Vignette style, covers first through seventh year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe how long this is already. Also, not overly proofread...fic for me right now is just what I can do quickly between work assignments so bear with me.

* * *

  **First Year**

* * *

 

As soon as Alex Vause heaves her trunk into a blessedly empty compartment of the train, she starts rummaging around in it until she finds her long black Hogwarts robes. She pulls them on over her clothes, feeling a rush of relief when she does.  They're secondhand, slightly worn with a few loose threads at the edge, but it's nothing so obvious as the patches on her jeans and safety pins on the shoulder of her sweater.  People probably won't even be able to tell.

In spite of herself, Alex slides to the edge of one of the seats and peers out the window, scanning the platform, both hoping and not hoping that her mom did what she asked - what she  _begged_ really - and went back to work, not waiting around just to watch the train pull away, which Alex had insisted would be pointless.  

She doesn't see her anywhere in the crowd, and Alex feels a sharp pang of fear in her chest.  She'd been horrifyingly close to crying when she hugged her mom goodbye, but self-preservation had taken over almost instantly.  There are older kids all over the place, and she's not about to break down  _crying_ like some baby on the first day at a new school.

Though it's not just a new school, it's an entirely new world, and Alex hadn't been entirely sure she wanted to go.  It means leaving her mom  _all alone_ , now, but Diane had insisted it would be ridiculous to turn down a school they didn't even have to pay for.  The weird professor who came to explain it all to them had assured her, again and again, that it was the  _top_ wizarding school in their world, very prestigious, and no, they wouldn't have to pay for it.  There was even a fund to help her pay for spellbooks and robes and wands.  

Her mom had seemed even more amazed at how  _free_ everything was than by the revelation that her daughter could apparently do magic.

Alex pulls out her wand, the only genuinely brand  _new_ thing she has, and wraps her fingers around it, feeling the now familiar thrill of power speed through her bloodstream.  The professor had told her that magic isn't allowed outside of school for underage wizards, which seems entirely and ridiculously unfair, but it hasn't stopped her from getting out the wand at least twenty times a day since she bought it last week.  

"Um.  Hi?"  

Alex flicks her gaze up to see a blonde girl who's almost definitely a first year like her standing in the doorway of the compartment with a trunk and a birdcage with a white owl hooting inside.   Alex stiffens a little, instinctive defenses flaring up.  "Is that a  _question_?"  

"Uh.  I guess.  Is it okay if I sit here?"  

The girl looks like she would be friends with Jessica Wedge and all her other rich friends at Alex's old school, but she sounds perfectly friendly and it makes Alex remember that she's wearing her robes, that no one has any reason to make fun of her here, and she relaxes a little.  "Sure.  Come on in."  

"Thanks."  

She pulls her trunk inside, jostling the cage against the doorway when she does.  The owl makes a noise that's more cackle than hoot, fluttering its wings pointlessly in the limited space.  Alex frowns in distaste, and the girl throws her a sheepish look.  "Sorry."

"What is it with you people and birds?"  Alex asks with a smirk.  "I mean, do we really have to write with _feathers_?"   

"Quills?"  The girl looks surprised by the question.  "Of course.  What else would we use?"  

" _Pencils_.   _Pens_.  Or, I don't know, you can't just think something and make it appear on the paper?"  

"I don't think that's a spell," she says thoughtfully.  "It'd be a good one, though."  The girl tilts her head at Alex, eyes shining with curiosity.  "So your parents are  _Muggles?_ "  

Alex sighs.  The professor kept using that word, and so did all the shopkeepers in Diagon Alley.  She doesn't like it, it sounds like something out of a silly kids book.  Her mom isn't a  _Muggle_.  Her mom is just her mom.  

"I mean, my mom isn't magic."

"What about your dad?"

Alex feels herself tense.  "I don't know.  Never met him."  She's proud of how casual it sounds, but of course she's been wondering, even more so than usual, ever since her Hogwarts letter finally brought  _some_ of the answers about herself.  

"Oh."  The girl gives her a small smile, like she's sorry for asking but not like she feels sorry for Alex.  It makes Alex like her - and she's not used to liking other kids her age.  "Did you ever do stuff accidentally?"  The girl asks eagerly.  "I was always making stuff break or sending stuff flying at brothers when I got mad...is it so weird to do that if you don't know you're magic?"  

Alex had been worried about this, that her complete cluelessness about all this magic stuff would be just a brand new way to make her a freak at school, even though the professor had assured her that there were plenty of other Muggleborn students.  But something about the way the girl asks makes it okay - like she's just as eager to learn about Alex's world as Alex is about this new one.  

"Yeah, I did," Alex nodded.  "I always thought it was something weird.  Like, when the lights in our apartment were out - "  Alex stops talking abruptly, feeling the heat rush to her face.  If she tells this story, then she'll have to explain the part where her mother couldn't afford to pay the power bill, and then the camouflage of her robes would be completely useless.  "Uh.  It was a power outage, like in a storm or whatever.  You'd flick the switch and it'd do nothing, but I could make the lamps work again.  I _knew_ it was me, even if I didn't know how."  That had gone on for the whole entire month, and her mom had stopped paying the power bill for over a year, until they'd had to move to a new apartment.  Diane could never explain it, but Alex at seven years old could have  _sworn_ she felt light flowing to her fingertips.  

"Cool."  A smile blooms on the other girls face, and Alex can see more questions swarming in her eyes, but they're interrupted when an older woman pushing a trolley cart slides open their compartment door.

"Anything from the trolley, loves?" 

For half a second Alex wonders if it might be free like everything else so far, but then the blond girl jumps eagerly to her feet and orders, rummaging in her pockets for those weird huge coins. "Can I get a Cauldron Cake and a box of Berties, please?"  

She pays and the old woman looks past her at Alex, smiling kindly.  "Anything for you, dear?"  

"Not hungry," she blurts out.  

The girl looks back at her, smiling and oblivious.  "You should get something, you've probably never had any of this, right?" 

Alex has to fight not to glare at her.  She can feel her face getting hot again.  "I...I don't really have wizarding money yet.  I mean, I only have regular money, I guess Muggle money, I never switched it out, so I can't really...."  Damn it.  She sounds like an idiot.  

The girls smile is gone, and she looks embarrassed, but then she turns back to the trolley and says, "Actually can get another box of Bertie's...and three Chocolate Frogs...and two of the Pumpkin things...thanks."  She hands over more money, and Alex kind of wants to get up and go to another compartment and start over with someone else, but then the blonde girl turns and grins at her and it's so  _not_  bitchy that Alex smiles back without meaning to. 

She'd been sitting across from Alex, but now she sits down on the same bench seat and spread her purchases in the space between them.  "Try some," she says, not like it's a big deal.  She opens a bag of the jellybeans and asks curiously, "Is Muggle candy super different?"

So they swap facts about their respective favorite candies, and Alex samples some of everything, starting with the Every Flavor Beans to prove the blonde girl's insistence that they aren't the same as jelly beans, which she thinks sound a lot more boring.  

The girl seems fascinated by anything  _muggle_  Alex talks about, and finally Alex starts asking tentative questions about Hogwarts.

"My older brother's in fifth year, so he told me how it works. We line up to put on the Hat to get sorted right away, even before the feast and everything."  

"Sorted?  Oh, wait, there are different houses, right?"

"Yeah.  My whole family's always been in Ravenclaw.  Like,  _all_ of them.  So, uh, if I don't get put there, it'd be a big deal."  She looks rattled for a second, nerves flicking across her face.  

"Does being in Ravenclaw mean something?"

"Yeah.  It's kind of the smart house."  She makes a face, seeming to regret the phrasing.  "Or, I guess, the people who like learning."

"So the nerd house," Alex says with a smirk.  

"Hey!"  She bites back a smile and throws a Chocolate Frog wrapper.

Alex grins and dodges it.  "I didn't say _I'm_  nota nerd."   She does read a lot.  Though Alex isn't sure how a  _hat_ would know that.

The other girl grins at that.  "Maybe we'll be in the same house."  Quickly, she adds, "But they're all fine." 

"So if Ravenclaws are nerds..." 

"Not  _nerds_.  Gryffindors are supposed to be brave...and the Hufflepuffs are loyal and hardworking."  

"Most nerds are hardworking,"  Alex counters teasingly, but what she's thinking is her mom would have been a Hufflepuff.  If she wasn't too much a  _muggle_ to get invited to this weird school.  "Isn't there a fourth house?"  

"Slytherin."  She makes an automatic face.  

"What, people don't like them?"

"Well.  It's just...You-Know-Who was a Slytherin.  And most of the Death Eaters."  Alex vaguely remembers those terms, something the professor had said about two different wars in the wizarding world.  "So they just have a bad reputation.  But don't worry...I don't think there are _any_  Muggleborns in Slytherin.  They're all about pureblood."  

"Great," Alex mutters.  She's already worried she won't know enough to fit in here.  Good to know people are going to judge her for something she can't even help.   _Again_ _._

"Most people don't care at all, though," the girl says sincerely.  Alex meets her eyes and realizes that  _she_ must be a pureblood (and, really,  _that_ doesn't sound like a horror movie word  _at all_.  These people are weird.) and obviously doesn't mind.   "And if you have any questions, you can ask me...my brother told me a lot, and he's a  _prefect_."  .  

"Thanks."  

They smile at each other, then look away at the same time.  For the first moment the whole trip, silence settles for awhile.  

Then, out nowhere, the girl asks, "Are your glasses real?"

Alex gives her a strange look.  "Yeah.  Why wouldn't they be?"

"A lot of people wear fake glasses just to be cool.  You know, like  _Harry Potter's_."  

She says the name with a sort of heavy reverence.  Alex is going to have to skim her history textbooks before she even gets to class, apparently.

God, she's going to miss the freaking internet.  

The blonde girl smiles kind of shyly.  "I like yours." 

Alex grins.  "Yeah?  Some girls at my old school thought they were nerdy."

"Oh, they'll definitely be cool here."  

"Awesome.  So which house is the  _cool_ house?"  

The girl giggles, then jokes, "Whichever one I'm in, obviously."

"Nuh-uh, sorry.  You already admitted to being a  _nerd_." 

She smiles, but then then it fades, her eyes skirting to the ground.  "I'm...kind of nervous about getting sorted.  I don't know what my parents will say if I'm in a different house."  

"Well, if your  _whole_ family's in Ravenclaw, you should be fine, right?"

"I don't know.  It's not always the same like that."

"It's a personality thing, right?"

"I guess..."

"So, do you think you're like the rest of your family?"  

The girl frowns, looking like she's never stopped to consider the question.  "I'm not sure." 

Alex doesn't know how to reassure her from there, so she stays quiet.  The truth is, she didn't really have friends at her old school.  She's not really used to being one.  

"What's your name?"  The blonde girl asks suddenly, breaking the silence.  

"Oh, shit, I didn't say it, did I?"  The other girl double takes at the cursing.  "My name's Alex."  

"I'm Piper."

They smile at each other for a second.

"I hope we're in the same house." 

"Even if I'm not in Ravenclaw?"  

Piper hesitates, and then nods.  "But maybe you will be though." 

"Maybe."  Alex pauses, then shrugs with exaggerated modesty.  "I  _am_ really smart."

Piper's whole face scrunches up when she laughs, loudly, and the sound of has Alex practically glowing with pride.  It reminds her of what it felt like to have light in her fingertips, except now it's in her chest.   

Maybe she'll be good at this here.  Making friends.   _Having_ friends.

It sort of maybe seems like she already has one.  

 

* * *

 

Alex and Piper stick close together when they get off the train, take boats across the lake, and finally file into the Great Hall to be sorted, but they're both too dumbstruck by the Great Hall itself to do more then exchange wide-eyed looks.  Alex is glad Piper seems as awed by the place as she is.

They start calling students by alphabetical order, and for the first time Alex feels anxiety pulling at her stomach as she realizes she'll be one of the last to go.  She tries to tell herself it's fine, it's not like  _she's_ got a family legacy to uphold, she has no reason to care where she gets sorted anyway.

It doesn't take long for them to call out, "Chapman, Piper!"  She looks scared and pale and she throws Alex a nervous glance just before she walks up to the stool.  Alex makes herself smile at her.

Piper sits on the stool, puts on the hat and then clasps her hands in her lap.  She looks like she might pass out, and it takes about thirty seconds for the hat to yell out, "RAVENCLAW!"  

Her shoulders sag in relief as the second table from the left erupts into cheers.  Alex watches her hurry over to join the cheering crowd.  An older boy who must be her brother gives her a sideways hug and messes up her hair and it makes Alex feel very lonely, all of a sudden.  

She lets her eyes linger longingly on the Ravenclaw table, sweeping her gaze over the students, trying to figure out if she might belong with them.  There's an open chair next to Piper.  Alex eyes it hopefully.

 

* * *

 

"Nice going, Pipe,"  Danny praises her as she practically collapses onto the seat beside him at the Ravenclaw.  "I'll owl Mom and Dad the good news tonight...not that they'll be surprised."  

She nods, feeling like it might take a second for her to start breathing properly again.  A few of Danny's friends who've come around during the summer holidays congratulate her, too.  The only other new Ravenclaw so far eyes her a bit enviously.  

When she feels less toppled by relief, Piper turns her attention back to the Sorting, feeling very glad to have gotten hers over with so soon.  She didn't ask Alex's last name, but it's the one she keeps listening for.  

A girl named Tasha becomes a Ravenclaw and takes the seat next to Piper that she'd been hoping to save for Alex.  

Alex is the very last kid waiting to be sorted, and Piper winces in sympathy at the sight of her standing there all alone.  Finally, she goes and sits down, hesitantly putting the hat over her dark hair; it knocks the glasses down the bridge of her nose, and a smattering of laughter sweeps through the hall.  Piper crosses her fingers under the table.

It seems to take longer than everyone else, but maybe because Piper's so anxious, before the hat declares, "SLYTHERIN!"

Whoa.

Piper's stomach drops in disappointment and surprise.  She hears her brother mutter something about, "Another baby snake."  

Alex takes the hat off and walks stiffly toward the Slytherin table, the look on her face making Piper's chest tighten.  She wishes now she hadn't badmouthed Slytherin so much, because Alex looks completely and utterly terrified.  

 

* * *

 

 _Your father_.

That's what the hat had said.

Piper hadn't made Slytherin sound very appealing, but Alex is barely thinking about that as she walks on autopilot toward the cheering table.  The outcome of her sorting is suddenly beside the point; she can't get past those two words.

 _Your father_.

She's never met her father.  She just knows his name and a few vague, hazy stories from her mom, who wasn't even with him for very long.  After her Hogwarts letter came, Alex had tentatively asked her mom about it, but Diane had only scoffed and said, "Honestly, baby, he was a very good-looking guy - and damn good at drums, from what I remember - but I never saw any sign he was  _magic_."  

_You've got touches of your father, too, shades of that wildness....could be dangerous....best left untapped, not like his..._

She feels dizzy and disconnected as she sits down among her new peers, with prefects reaching over to shake her hand and other first years exchanging names.

She doesn't really come to until one of the older girls across the table, maybe a third or fourth year, who's been asking everyone else their family history, leans toward Alex and says, "Vause...don't know if I can place the name.  What do your parents do?" 

"My mom's a waitress." 

"Oh."  The girl purses her lips a little, but asks, "Where?  In Diagon Alley?"  

She says the name of the burger restaurant where her mom waits tables, and only after everyone in the vicinity goes quiet and exchanges looks does Alex really key into the conversation and remember what Piper said about Slytherins and Muggleborns.  

 _Piper_. 

Alex lifts herself up off her chair a little, craning her neck to see the Ravenclaw table, one to the left of theirs.  The hat had debated Ravenclaw first, so much so that Alex's hope had turned all the way up, but then it had started talking about  _ambition_ , which was apparently a Slytherin thing even though Piper hadn't mentioned it.

 _You want things very, very much, don't you?  And you know this place is your chance to get them_...

Then it had mentioned her father, and any debate between houses had flown out of her head even as the hat yelled out Slytherin.

At the Ravenclaw table Piper's back is to Alex, and she's talking to the girl beside her. For the first time, disappointment kicks at Alex's stomach. She tells herself she's being stupid.  She _just_ met Piper, and if it was that easy to make friends with her, surely Alex can do it again.

But when she turns toward the other first year Slytherins, no one seems to want to catch her eye.  

 

* * *

 

After her first day of classes at Hogwarts, Alex sets about arming herself with knowledge.

She goes to library, nearly empty in the first week of school, and carries a stack the most modern history books she can find over to a table, preparing to settle in for a few hours.

Then she finds her father's name in the index of the first book she opens, and ten minutes later, runs off to the nearest bathroom to be sick.

A Death Eater. A _wild_ one, the book had even used that word, the same one as the Sorting Hat. Rumored to run around with Fenrir Greyback and other feral werewolves, though it wasn't confirmed whether he was a true part of their ranks.  Death Eater doesn't have the same weight to Alex as it does to the kids who grew up in this world, but the books make it all too clear: murder and torture and dark, dark magic.

So for her first month or so at school, Alex gives every professor there every reason to write her off as an unengaged, underwhelming student, and gives all her fellow Slytherins every reason to confirm their darkest suspicions about Muggleborns being useless. 

She goes through classes in a stupor, and her wand, which at one point felt had made her feel complete for the first time ever, starts to feel heavy in her hand.  She can't make it work for her.  Alex doesn't want any part of this world, and she's starting to loathe this magic inside her because it comes from her father. She wants to go home, and she starts a dozen letters to her mother to that effect, knowing sooner or later she'll finish.

But one evening she's moving through the castle, looking for somewhere to be alone - she  _hates_ the Slytherin common room - when she wanders into what seems like an unused classroom, empty save for a tall, golden framed mirror in the center of the room.  It's old fashioned looking, like everything else at this school, but the isolation of it is the most strange.  Alex drifts toward the center of the room and stands in front of the mirror.

She pulls in a sharp, startled intake of breath.

In the mirror she looks older, tall, and she's counting money, not wizarding coins but muggle bills, a thick, marvelous stack of them.  She's wearing jeans without patches and shoes with the right number of stripes and a shiny leather jacket that looks brand new.  Her mom walks into the image, and Alex's head jerks automatically to her side even though she knows, of course, her mother isn't here.  Alex reaches out, touching the glass, feeling a vivid rush of longing and homesickness.  In the mirror, she's handing her mom the money, then a set of car keys.  Her mom beams and hugs her, picking her up and spinning her around because suddenly Alex's image is eleven years old again.  

Alex walks back to to dormitory that night remembering what the Sorting Hat said about her: that she wanted things, and that this place was the key to her getting them.

She pulls her wand from her back pocket, feeling comfortable with it for the first time all month.  It's dark in the corridors, she's in an unfamiliar wing, so Alex lifts her wands and mutters a spell she's never tried, but has only seen in spell books.  "Lumos."  

The tip of her wand glows immediately, and Alex feels it, that light that lives in her fingertips.  The opposite of dark magic.  She convinces herself her father has no claim on that. She may have his colors on her robe's crest, but she doesn't have his last name, and she's never been so grateful for that.

 

 

* * *

 

Piper first hears about Alex's father just after Halloween, when she and her fellow first year Ravenclaws are crowded into the stands to watch the first Quidditch match of the season, between Gryffindor and Slytherin.  It was implicitly understood that their whole house was there cheering for Gryffindor.  So was Hufflepuff.  

Piper finds the strength of the bias a little strange, especially in this arena - Gryffindor had apparently won The Quidditch Cup last year, and you'd think it would make them every house's biggest enemy.

But The Second War had left its mark on Hogwarts, and Slytherin House was the worst casualty.  At one point during the match, the Gryffindor section of the stands, with help from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, bursts into an old, mocking chant song that references the absence of Slytherins from The Final Battle of Hogwarts.  Family names still carry great weight.  Families of Death Eaters often change their last names, but inevitably someone with a Ministry relative outs the students, and their discarded family names become the only thing the rest of the school calls them.

Poussey, a Hufflepuff who's apparently known Piper's fellow Ravenclaw Tasha forever, is solemnly informing them that the Slytherin Keeper, who has a brother in their year, also has a gaggle of Death Eater relatives either dead or rotting in Azkaban.  

"You can tell he ain't right," Tasha says solemnly.  "It's those beady eyes...we've got Double Charms with the brother, swear to God he turns everything into a hex."

"They shoulda made all the Death Eater kids Squibs,"  Flaca, another Ravenclaw, puts in vehemently.  

Poussey snorts.  "Guess that's one good thing about Alex Vause."  

"What?"  Piper whips her head around to gape at Poussey, her instinctive protest that Alex isn't a Squib - she  _was_ super embarrassing the first month or so of classes, but now she's the only one in their year who can transfigure anything bigger than a needle - instantly smothered by the implication that Alex is a Death Eater's kid.  "She's _Muggle-born_."  

"Half-blood," Poussey corrects.  "My aunt says her dad is Lee Burley."  

There's a chorus of curses and low whistles at that name.  Piper shudders with revulsion before she can stop herself, but in the next second she remembers what Alex said on the train:  she's never met her father, didn't even know whether he was magic.  It seems especially unfair to hold that against Alex - she obviously wasn't raised in a dark magic family - but Piper doesn't mention it.  It's not like she and Alex have stayed friends.  They smile when they share classes, and sometimes exchange a few words in passing, but nothing more than that.

Still, Piper's chest hurts for the rest of the match, because she knows Poussey isn't much of a gossip, but if she's found this out, everyone else will soon enough.   

 

* * *

   **Second Year**

* * *

 

Alex is almost definitely about to be late for Potions, and even though Professor Parker is their Head of House, and notoriously easy on the Slytherins, that treatment doesn't extend to Alex.  She won't dock points, but she'd love to give her detention, keep her scrubbing cauldrons and beakers for hours, no magic allowed, making snide comments about how she's probably used to that anyway, right?  

Alex doesn't relish the thought, so she's practically running toward the dungeons, books wrapped in one hand, wand gripped in the other.  She always moves through the corridors with her wand in her hand.   _Always_.  It's a necessity, as was how absolutely perfect she's gotten at shield charms.

She hears footsteps coming up the spiral staircase from the other direction, and Alex tightens her grip automatically.  She's not usually _this_ jumpy, but the corridors are usually more crowded than this, and she's a hard to resist target even then, much less one on one.

Her whole body relaxes, however, when she sees the one other student in this school she doesn't have to worry about.

"Hey, Alex."

"Hey, Piper."  

They smile without teeth, and they don't slow down, just squeeze past each other on the stairs and keep going in different directions.  This is all they do, this barely friendly acknowledgement, leftover obligation just because Piper had the misfortune to sit next to Alex on the train.  Piper doesn't always speak, but Alex likes when she does, because she's the only person in this school who uses Alex's name.

 _Miss Vause_ from the professors.   _Burley_ to the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and all Ravenclaws but one.   _Mudblood_  or _Squib_ to her fellow Slytherins, with their strange sense of loyalty: Alex has had housemates step up and hex other students on her behalf, only to give her disgusted looks and muttered slurs as soon as the confrontation is over.  She prefers  _Mudblood,_ truth be told - she's proud of the reminder of her mother's blood in her veins, of the lack of importance of her father's.   _Squib_ is just ridiculous: she's near the top of her year, and yet will never be forgiven the first month she'd hated her magic too much to use it.

So Alex exists on her own, but she's used to that:  all those years before Hogwarts, she hadn't had friends at school either - for very different reasons - and once she finished kindergarten she'd been home in the empty apartment while her mother worked.  She can get by alone.

She still visits the mirror, some nights, though she can't always find it.  Sometimes it's the same, her mother and the money, but sometimes she sees herself and Piper, huddled over a table in the library, or wandering the Hogwarts grounds, laughing and talking. Alex never stays long on the nights Piper's in the mirror.  She's figured the mirror out by now, that it shows the things you most desire, and the simple hope for a  _friend_ is such a small, embarrassing thing to want.  

 

* * *

  

"Hey!"  Someone tugs on the back of her robes, pulling Piper away from the table and to her feet, pumpkin juice dribbling down her chin.  

"Geez, what?"  She twists around to see Tasha, looking impatient.  

"I need you to come with me, I left my Charms essay in the dormitory."

"So why do you need me for that?"

"It's Monday, they changed the damn riddle again...you know I can only do the ones with numbers.   None of this Confucius bullshit."

"What's the riddle?"

"I don't remember, something about a Bogart when no one's around to see it...but rhyming."  

Piper sighs, but allows her friend to lead the way out of the Great Hall and back to Ravenclaw Tower.  Even though breakfast is nearly over, Alex Vause is just now coming in.  

Her eyes flick over and meet Piper's.  Piper quirks one corner of her mouth and lifts her eyebrows in acknowledgement then continues to follow Tasha, ignoring the distant scratching of guilt that always comes when she sees Alex around other people.  She never says hello when anyone can hear.  

 

* * *

  **Third Year**  

* * *

 

"Immobulus!"  

Piper flicks her wand, but the white mouse on the table skitters forward, unaffected.  

" _Immobulus_!"  

The mouse stops walking on its own accord, tail still twitching, nose still quivering.

A low, frustrated sound uncurls from Piper's throat.

Every other Ravenclaw in her year had successfully done the spell in class today, and they'd done it on  _pixies_ , way faster than this dumb mouse she'd borrowed from Larry Bloom.

Piper can feel warm, watery panic shifting nauseously through her stomach.  She saw how everyone was looking at her at the end of class.   _Pitying_.  Like they're all glad they aren't her.  

She straightens her shoulders, flexes her fingers around her wand, and tries again, practically shrieking, " _Immobulus_."  

The mouse squeaks at her.  

She feels childish, irrational tears pushing at the edge of her eyes, and Piper squeezes them shut, angrily muttering to herself, "C'mon, you can do this, don't be stupid, you're smarter than this,  _come on_..."  

"Uhhhh.  Am I interrupting?"  

Piper twists around, horrified, and for some reason, the sight of Alex Vause standing awkwardly in the doorway fills her with breathless relief.  Not that Alex is really someone she wants to embarrass herself in front of, but it beats most alternatives.  "Oh.  Hey, Alex."

"Hey, Piper."

They both fall silent for a moment; those are the only words they've exchanged in over two years.  Anything beyond the greetings is uncharted territory.  

"Sorry," Alex says finally.  "I was just looking for someplace to study."  Piper doesn't ask why she isn't choosing the library or her common room for that.  Amusement flares in Alex's eyes, and she comes a few steps closer.  "What are  _you_ doing?"  

"Practicing freezing charms."  

Alex lifts an eyebrow and smirks.  "I take it from your self pep talk that it's going well?"  

"I just...I  _can't_ do it for some reason."  To her utter humiliation, Piper's voice catches.  "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Instantly, the amusement leaks from Alex's expression and she crosses the room completely to stand by the table.  "Nice rat." 

"It's a mouse." 

"Oh, my mistake.  Can I watch you try?"  

Piper rolls her eyes, hoping that will hold off the threat of tears.  "Why, you think  _you're_ going to be able to help me?"

Alex's whole face hardens, eyes flashing dangerously.  "What the hell is  _that_ supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing," Piper murmurs, embarrassed.  

"What,  _you_ think I'm stupid, too?"

" _No_."  Piper really doesn't.  She doesn't know what was going on the first month of school that made Alex not want to try, but anyone with eyes can see it didn't last.  Piper can never bring herself to defend Alex when her friends start calling her  _Burley_ and talking about her father, but if one of them mentions she's dumb in school, Piper always chimes in with the logical, rational fact that it's obviously not true.  

Alex ignores the denial, practically snarling at her.  "Because I'm not in the  _nerd_ house with you and your asshole friends?"  

Piper starts a little at the obvious reference to their conversation on the train.  For a second, she feels ugly retorts rush to the tip of her tongue, but suddenly she's hearing their long ago talk echoing in the back of her head, their one and only day of friendship, and suddenly she deflates, letting her wand clatter onto the table in defeat.

"I obviously shouldn't be in there either," she says softly.  "And I know you're smart.  You're smarter than me."  

"I am not," Alex counters matter-of-factly, anger gone from her voice.  "You kick my ass at essays."  Piper looks up at her again, taking in the fact that Alex has been paying that close of attention.  Alex doesn't seem to register her own admission, just waves her hand impatiently.  "Now stop being a baby and show me." 

Dutifully, Piper picks up her wands and nudges the mouse into motion.  " _Immobulus_!"  Nothing.  She tries again, shifting her syllable emphasis.  "Immo-BUL-us!"  

Alex is already shaking her head.  "It's not the way you're saying it, it's your wrist, look..."  She holds out her own hand, demonstrating.  "More of a twist than a flick...rotate it....just  _this_ much..."  

Piper recites the spell, trying to mimic Alex's motion.  Still nothing.  Frustrated, she kicks the table leg, shifting it enough the mouse goes scurrying in a terrified circle.  

" _Merlin_ , calm down."  Alex is trying not to smile now.  "Such a temper.  Here..."  She comes a little closer, then reaches out and blankets Piper's hand in her own.  "Like  _this_."  She guides Piper's wrist, but Piper forgets to say the spell, forgets what she's even doing right now.  She wants Alex's hand to stay where it is.  It makes her think of that day in Ollivanders, when she'd finally chosen the right wand - the way it had felt, for the first time, that she was  _holding_ her magic in her hand.

She barely stops herself from whining when Alex moves her fingers away.  "Now you."  

"Immobulus!"  

The mouse freezes on the spot, and Piper's face breaks into a smile.  "Hey!  I did it.  Thanks, Alex!"  

"Sure."  Alex smiles back at her, then stays quiet while Piper undoes the spell and repeats it three different times to make sure it wasn't a fluke.  Then, apropos of nothing, Alex asks, "So are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"  

"Yeah, I'm excited.  Are you going?"  

"I don't know.  My mom signed my form and everything, I just, uh.  Can't decide if I want to."   

"Oh, you definitely want to. Danny's been telling me about Honeydukes for _years_.  You _have_ to come."  Alex meets her eyes, unfamiliar hope lighting them, and suddenly Piper realizes her mistake.  Her eyes flick away, and her words stumbling backwards as she adds in a much more distant voice, "I'm going with my friends and stuff.  We'll probably go to Three Broomsticks as a bigger group.  The Ravenclaws, I mean."  

There's a pause, and Piper can't look at Alex during it, and then finally she says, "Sure."  Her voice is distant, too.  "Sounds fun."

"Yeah." 

"Okay.  Well..."  Alex smiles tightly.  "I should go."

"Thanks again."

"No problem."  

"Bye, Alex."

"Bye, Piper."

 

* * *

 

While most of the castle is gone on the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, Alex spends a rare few hours in the Slytherin common room, relishing the quiet stillness of the place.  There are a few first and second year kids milling around, but even though they look at her through narrowed eyes the same as everyone else they don't dare say anything to her.

She gets bored after awhile, and she ends up habitually wandering the castle, eventually seeking out the mirror again.  It shows her with Piper, this time, but she knew it would considering their conversation in the classroom last week.

This time, though, Alex doesn't move away immediately.  She sits on the floor and watches:  they're in the same classroom, and Piper's eyes are crinkled and lit up and laughing, and it's not actually any different from how she'd looked when it happened.

Then suddenly Piper leans over and presses her lips against Alex's.  

Alex scrambles to her feet and out of the frame of the mirror.

She doesn't go looking for the mirror again, not ever.  

 

* * *

  **Fourth Year**  

* * *

 

 

"No book today?"

"Huh?"

She's walking to the Quidditch pitch with Tasha and Poussey, who exchange looks like she's being deliberately slow.  

"You _never_ come to matches without a book."

"Especially when we ain't even playing."  

Piper can feel herself flushing, but she makes herself shrug innocuously.

"I don't know.  Just feel like actually watching today, I guess."

Poussey grins.  Hufflepuff _is_ playing, so she's more fired up than either of them.  "You feel like seeing Slytherin get their asses kicked, more like it." 

"Hell yeah."  Tasha offers her a fist bump.

 

* * *

 

It's Alex's first game as Slytherin's new Beater, and just about everyone who's showing up to watch is hoping she sucks. 

She'd tried out for the team last year, too, and hadn't made it, even though she killed at the try out.   But this year Janae Watson is Captain, and she's probably the most competitive person at this school; she cares more about winning than anything else, including blood status or alleged intelligence.  It means someone besides Piper Chapman actually _speaks_ to her at this school, and Janae does much more than say hi - she's fond of cornering her players in the halls and giving long winded speeches about strategy.    

Alex loved to fly from the first time Madame Figueroa lined up the Slytherin first years and told them to command the brooms into their hands.  For her first three years at Hogwarts, she'd sometimes sneak out and steal one of those old, crappy brooms they used for flying lessons and go soaring around the empty pitch, always taking off if one of the teams showed up.  Sometimes she'd have fantasies of just taking off, for real, leaving Hogwarts behind and flying to every corner of the world.

Quidditch is a whole different beast, of course, and Alex loves that, too, loves the adrenaline rush and the competitive spirit, but nothing beats the _flying_.  There's a reason it's the thing muggles dream about.  Sometimes when Alex is airborne she ends up thinking about her mom, back home in the apartment by herself, working at the restaurant, and Alex wishes she could send this feeling to her.  

 

* * *

 

Alex sends a perfectly aimed Bludger whizzing at John Bennett, one of the Hufflepuff Chasers, knocking him off balance and away from the Quaffle just in front of Slytherin's hoop.  A loud wave of boos drowns out Slytherin's unusually lackluster cheering.

"She  _would_ be a Beater," Larry Bloom mutters darkly from the row above Piper and her friends.  

"Every team has Beaters," Piper mutters diplomatically.

"Nah, he's right," Tasha counters.  "Shows she likes hurting people."  

Piper's tempted to ask if  _their_ team Beaters - which include the current Head Boy - also like hurting people,  but she keeps her mouth shut.  Her eyes track Alex, speeding down across the pitch, expertly guiding her broom with one hand and holding her bat at the ready with the other.

The score stays neck and neck for awhile, when suddenly the Hufflepuff Seeker goes into a dive, flying toward a corner of the pitch that's nowhere near the Slytherin's Seeker.  The crowd starts to cheer, sure the match is about to end, when the Hufflepuff goes cartwheeling off course to avoid a Bludger Alex sent.  This time the Slytherin's cheers are substantial, and they grow even louder when their Seeker cuts in front and snags the Snitch.  

There are groans of disappointment all around Piper, and she ducks her head to hide her traitor smile as the Slytherin team convenes on the ground in a victorious huddle, Alex cheering right along with them, actually seeming a part of something.

 

* * *

 

 

Larry Bloom invites her to the Yule Ball and Piper says yes because she wants to go, and she wants to go with a date.  

Alex Vause returns from Christmas holiday with a tattoo of a rose on her arm; the leaves waver sightly, as if a breeze is sweeping just across Alex's skin, and every so often a petal falls away and drifts down her arm.  In the few classes they share with the Slytherins, Piper can't stop staring at it.  

Piper watches her house beat Slytherin in Quidditch, and a few days later she's lounging on the lawn with Poussey and Tasha when Alex strolls by, broom slung over her shoulder, probably on her way to practice.  She catches Piper's eyes and grins.  Piper's friends aren't paying attention, so she smiles all the way back, even lifting her hand in a wave.  

"Hey, you."  

Alex turns around to see Tiffany Doggett, a sixth year from her own house, striding toward her.  

"I lost ten fucking sickles cause of your sorry ass game on Saturday."  

Alex snorts, rolling her eyes.  "Talk to Martiza if you're pissed," she mutters, referring to the Slytherin Seeker.

"Nah, I saw what happened...ain't you s'posed to be the  _defense_?" 

The few groups scattered across the lawn have gone quiet, watching the show.  Piper's whole boy feels tense.  She'd actually watched the whole match on Saturday - no way anyone could spin Slytherin's loss and make it Alex's fault.

Alex is already turning away.  "Whatever."  

Tiffany doesn't let up.  "You ain't fit to wear  _my_ colors."  

At that, Alex glances back, bugging her eyes out in mock amazement.  " _Your_ colors?  So...you're Salazar Slytherin?  Were you reincarnated?"  

"More him than you are... _mudblood_."  

Two seconds later, Doggett's flat on her back on the grass.  

And Piper's wand is smoking in her hand.

Most people are staring at Alex in shocked terror.  

Alex is staring at Piper.

So are Tasha and Poussey, the only ones close enough to see Piper grab her wand.  

"What the hell was that?!"  Tasha sounds borderline scared of her.  

"Girl did you just go  _nonverbal_?"  Poussey sounds impressed.

"I...I don't know..."  Piper stammers, dropping the wand like it's burning her hand.  She hadn't thought, just reacted.  That felt like magic did when she was a little kid, before she could control it - unbridled outbursts of fury.

"She isn't dead, is she?"  Tasha asks warily, lifting herself on her elbows to get a better look at Doggett.  "Cause if you're going around silently Avada Kedavra-ing bitches, I don't know if we should be friends..." 

But Tiffany's stirring on the ground, and the next thing Piper knows Poussey is hauling her up by the elbow.  "C'mon, we better clear out of here."  

Piper lets them drag her off.  Everyone else in the vicinity has already started putting immediate distance between themselves and Alex, who's still standing rooted in place, staring after Piper like she can't even process what happened. 

 

* * *

 

 

The rumor is everywhere by the next morning at breakfast; that Alex Vause knocked out a fellow Slytherin without saying a word or even holding her wand.  Piper feebly tries to correct people exactly three times, and every one of them think she's making a joke.  When she asks Tasha to back her up, she pretends to think Piper's hilarious, then pulls her aside and tells her to take the out she's being given.  

Piper keeps thinking she's going to have to explain herself for how quick she was to defend Alex, but Poussey is mainly impressed by the skill level - silent spells aren't taught until sixth year - and Tasha hates that word so much she doesn't even think much about  _who_  was being called it.

Alex, though, is being given a wider berth than ever by the entire school, including her own house, any good will her Quidditch performance had bought her instantly unraveled by the belief that she attacked an older and more worthy Slytherin.  

Piper thinks she probably owes Alex something, if not for the act itself than for her complete failure to set the record straight in its aftermath.  But the truth is, the strength of whatever she'd felt that day, whatever had made her  _do_ that, scares Piper.  Alex Vause is not even her friend, she's just a person Piper says  _hey_ to, and only out of some long played out obligation because they had been nice to each other for a few crucial hours nearly four years ago.  Piper's sick of this near stranger crowding out her peripheral vision.  

So Piper severs her thin, insignificant ties to Alex Vause.  She stops saying  _hey_ when they pass in the corridors, stops with the tight, closed smiles of acknowledgement, stops looking for her when she walks into any common space.  She stops it all, and she keeps it up for the rest of the year.

 

* * *

**Fifth Year**

* * *

 

"Piper, sweetheart, you'll look out for your brother, won't you?"  

"Yeah, mom, of course..."  

"And Calvin, you owl us straight away tonight, alright, son?  Wanna hear about the latest Ravenclaw in the family."

Cal pulls a combative face.  "I don't  _wanna_ be a Ravenclaw." 

The Chapman's exchange long suffering looks, but all they say is, "We'll see."  

Piper can see her younger brother gearing up for an argument, so she quickly puts in, "I gotta go, the prefects have to check in in the first compartment to figure out patrols."  

Predictably, her parents beam at the mention of her new title, hugging her and kissing her cheek and hurrying her along to start her duties.  She tells Cal she'll check on him later, then gratefully drags her trunk toward the train, eager to see who the other prefects are.  

As soon as she slides open the door, she finds herself face to face with Alex, sporting a shiny prefect badge on her robes.  Piper feels oddly frazzled at being so close to her after ignoring her for most of the second half of last year; she has no idea what Alex thinks of her, anymore, after what happened, but Alex just gives her an easy, uncomplicated smirk.  "Figured I'd see you up here, nerd."  

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to make this a threeshot instead of two, as intended, because clearly I have no control over the length of anything. I didn't read this through super carefully yet, forgive the definitely present typos...I'll probably be editing them periodically, as is my sloppy policy. But Tumblr anons are getting impatient and I've already neglected work for too long. Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

**Fifth Year**

* * *

 

Her tenure as a prefect doesn't get off to a great start:  Piper is oddly distracted throughout the Head Boy and Girl's speech about prefect responsibilities, just because Alex Vause is standing right beside her, looking completely bored and unruffled.  Her green and silver tie is loose and the sleeves of her robe are rolled up, giving Piper a view of Alex's new tattoo, a tribal armband that keeps twisting and rearranging itself in a completely distracting manner.  Piper had been pointedly not paying much attention to Alex for the last half of fourth year, but she's still pretty sure it wasn't there before summer.  Which of course begs the question of how Alex managed to enchant it since she can't do magic during school holidays.

 _Not_ that Piper cares.

Because, really, last years strategy had worked for her.  It's nice that Alex seems to hold no ill will toward Piper for the freeze out, but that's no reason to go back on it.  Piper still shivers a little every time she remembers that burst of rage that knocked Tiffany out.  Whatever guilty obligation she apparently feels for Alex is clearly dangerous.  She's not going to put herself in that position again.

But when they're sent out to patrol the train, Piper steps aside to wait for her fellow Ravenclaw prefect, only to have Alex sidle up to her instead.

Alex smirks and arches an eyebrow, like she's making fun of Piper even before the conversation begins, with a fairly innocuous, "Have a good summer?"  

"It was fine."  Piper shifts her weight nervously.  She can't help but notice the way the other prefects are side eying them as they hurry by, even the male Slytherin.  "Yours?"  

"Good."  Alex's grin widens a little.  "You seem tense."

Piper feels her face get hot, and she starts down the corridor, muttering something about patrol.  Alex ignores her, falling right into step with Piper and continuing conversationally, "I mean, I understand why.  I'm pretty scary...I'm assuming you heard?  I can hex with  _silent,_ _wandless_ magic.   _Very_ dark stuff." She purses her lips to hold back a smile, eyes gleaming with amusement.  "You know....there've been a lot of times that would have come in handy.   _Lot_ of people I'd like to hex.  But it's the craziest shit...I can never seem to make it happen when  _you_ aren't around."

Piper scowls, finally slowing to a stop and rounding on Alex.  Her chest is starting to prickle with defensiveness.  She shouldn't have to feel  _bad_ about being the one person who actually stuck up for Alex.  "Look.  I  _tried_ telling people what really happened.  It's not my fault no one - "

Alex is laughing at her.  "Pipes, chill."  The easy, unthinking nickname heats Piper's face up again.  "I wasn't accusing you, dumbass." In spite of the insult, Alex's smirk slowly softens into something more genuine.  "I wanted to say thanks, but you kinda never gave me the chance."  Piper looks away, guilty, but then Alex smirks again.  "Turns out I kinda like being feared.  So it all worked out."  

Piper smiles clumsily at her, but she can't think of anything to say.  They're walking side by side now, barely squeezing through the space outside the train's compartments.  Finally, Piper comments, trying to regain some semblance of casual dignity, "But you still made prefect.  In spite of your new reputation."

"Unlike the general student population, I think the headmistress and professors are smart enough to know a fourteen year old can't do wandless magic.  I'm very talented, but even I have limits."  Alex nudges Piper's elbow with her own.  "Though nonverbal magic is pretty badass of _you_.  Unless I just missed a hex."

"You didn't," Piper says quickly.  "I...I didn't even really mean to hex her."  The light in Alex eyes dims, just the slightest bit, and Piper realizes it sounds like she's saying she wouldn't have intentionally defended Alex.  "I just mean...I didn't even have time to think about it.  I don't know what happened."  

Alex stops moving, and Piper instinctively stops, too.  For a second, Alex just looks at her, eyes roving her face like she's picking apart Piper's expression.  Then, slowly, Alex smiles.  "I know."  

"What?"

" _I_ know why you did it.  But you aren't going to like it." 

"Fine, what?"

"You like me," Alex says with a shrug, and it's clear from her tone she means it in the most simple, straightforward way possible.

"Um..."

"You like me, and you want to be my friend."

Damn her.  Piper grits her teeth, because there's no way to  _argue_ without sounding completely rude, but Alex is smirking at her with this infuriatingly smug expression on her face, and it makes Piper feel like arguing. 

"We  _are_ friends," she says finally, but even she knows it's a feeble statement.

"No.  I don't have any friends," Alex says matter-of-factly, and Piper feels a swoop of obscure admiration - and, strangely, jealousy - that Alex is so unbothered by that fact.  "You just acknowledge my existence...or you used to.  Hey, look..."  They've reached the end of the train, the only time a compartment door has been opened; it's empty inside.  Alex throws Piper a grin over her shoulder as she walks inside.  "Wanna sit?  Be like old times."  

Piper follows her, trying to tamp down the distant, dizzying feeling that she's walking into something beyond her control.  This is stupid.  She hasn't even gone looking for her friends yet.  She hasn't seen Tasha or Poussey in months, and here she is blindly following Alex Vause around the Hogwarts Express like  _she's_ the person Piper missed over the summer.

Alex smiles triumphantly when Piper settles onto the seat across from her, closing the compartment door before she does.  Piper feels nervous, for some reason, but fortunately Alex's momentum seems to have stalled, and she doesn't pick back up the awkward conversation.

They've been sitting in silence for nearly a minute when Piper blurts out, surprising herself with her eagerness, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Go for it." 

"Why were you so terrible in class the first month of school?"

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Piper's been wondering that for four years. All the amusement vanishes from Alex's expression, her eyes going hard and distant.  For a second, Piper thinks she's going to refuse to answer.  Really, she can't blame her; they really  _aren't_ friends, especially now, when Piper refused to even look at her for the last five months of last term.  Piper hasn't earned the right to personal questions.

But then Alex meets her gaze and says seriously, "Because I found out who my father is.  The Sorting Hat mentioned him, that he was a Slytherin, too...it said he was wild.  So I looked him up, the first day of classes. I knew before everyone else found out."  

This is startling news all on its own; Piper had always assumed, sickeningly, that Alex had heard the rumors the same as everyone else.   Swallowing hard, Piper asks hesitantly, "But what does that have to do with...you in class?"

"I hated magic. _My_ magic, at least."  She gives a short, bitter laugh.  "Everyone in my house thinks I'm such trash because I'm practically Muggleborn.  I  _wish_ I was.  I wish it just came from nowhere.  But when I found out it was from _him_ , and everything he did...it made me not want to do it.  I almost left."

The thought of that, Alex _leaving,_ makes Piper's chest constrict.  Even though they aren't friends.  Even though it wouldn't have altered the last four years of Piper's life in any obvious ways.

Alex's eyes are clouded over with bad memories, and she draws a deep, steadying breath, visibly shaking it off.  She finds Piper's gaze again.  "My turn for a question."  

"Okay..."

Crisp and calm, like she's had the question locked and loaded throughout the whole conversation, Alex asks, "What do you think of me?"  

The vague open ended nature of the question makes Piper uneasy.  "What do you mean?"  

"I know you don't think I'm into dark magic.  Or that I'm a death eater in training.  Or that I'm a Squib, though thankfully pretty much everyone seems to have let that go after your Doggett attack, thanks again, by the way.  So."  She arches an eyebrow.  "What  _do_ you think of me?"

Piper can't look at her.  She mentally combs through potential answer, scrambling for something inoffensive but neutral.  "I...I think you were nice, that first day on the train.  And when you've shown me spells.  I know you've never done anything to anybody.  And...I think it's unfair, the way everyone treats you."

Piper ventures a look up, pleased with her answer, but Alex is glaring at her, eyes hot and narrow on Piper's face.  "Bullshit.  You don't just feel _sorry_ for me.  You didn't keep saying hi to me because you feel _bad_.  And you sure as hell didn't look for me every time you walk into the Great Hall out of some charity case obligation because I was  _nice_ to you for a couple hours before you and everyone else figured out I was a Slytherin and a Death Eaters kid."

The level of anger in the words surprises Piper.  Even Alex herself looks flustered by her outburst, like she'd gotten away from the point she wanted to make.  They sit for a minute in harsh, angry silence.  Finally, Piper can't stand the discomfort of the compartment anymore and she gets to her feet.  "We're supposed to be patrolling..."

"Oh, please.  You've ridden this thing five years in a row, has any prefect ever looked on in on your compartment?"

"No," she admits, now feeling foolish just standing there, robbed of an excuse to leave but not wanting to sit back down and commit herself to staying here.  Finally, a little petulantly, she says, "I never said I felt sorry for you."

Alex isn't looking at her, her face tilted to stare out the compartment window.  "Okay."

Merlin, Piper just wants out of there.  "I should go...I haven't even seen my friends yet."  She winces at the words the second she says them, and Alex lets out a hiss of a breath between her teeth but doesn't say anything else as Piper walks out of the compartment.

 

* * *

 

Well.  She thoroughly blew that.

Alex slumps further down in her seat, scowling at herself.  The whole confident, casual act was probably undermined when she  _yelled_  at Piper.  

She'd been thinking about this all summer, planning it out in her head, even before the prefect badge surprisingly arrived in the mail and made finding a moment to talk to Piper easier.  

It had sucked, last term, with Piper ignoring her completely.  Sucked a _lot,_ actually, which is frankly pathetic considering she and Piper used to have maybe two conversations a year that went beyond simple  _hey's_.   But considering that, the loss of Piper's mere acknowledgment had been much more obvious than one might expect.  The absence had permeated, and only when it was gone did Alex realize how constantly  _aware_ of her Piper had always been, even when she wouldn't speak.  

There was a lot less eye contact in her life, suddenly, and even though that still sucked, Alex had allowed herself to be retroactively smug at the full discovery of how frequently Piper had been looking over at her for the past four years.

The motives behind Piper's freeze out hadn't been hard to figure out, and they're oddly encouraging.  It meant Piper  _knows,_ now, that she has some degree of attachment and investment in Alex beyond a long ago conversation on a train. Obligation or pity can't explain the level of emotion that had obviously enabled her to knock out Doggett like that.   

Sure, it's frustrating that Piper's response was to cut Alex off completely, but it's not insurmountable.  Even from a distance, Alex is pretty sure she understands Piper, at least a little. 

So she'd figured Piper wouldn't blow off a direct confrontation - which she hadn't.  Alex had planned to be charming and cool and take advantage of the fact that Piper totally likes her - which she had been, until the very end, when she ruined the whole thing.

Jesus. Merlin. Whoever.

Alex pulls her wand out and starts absently changing the colors of the seat cushions across from her, muttering spells under her breath.  It has a distracting, calming effect; right now, she needs to remember that she's actually  _glad_ to return to Hogwarts.

She's missed magic.  Being in the muggle world is like living with one hand tied behind her back.  Maybe two.  She'd spent the summer working at a coffee shop, fighting frustration every night as she hand washed all the equipment and mopped the kitchen floor, unable to get past the knowledge that she  _could_ have the whole process finished in a few seconds and a sweep of her wand.

Alex always feels guilty, thinking that way.  After all, her mother's been wiping down tables and washing dishes for practically her whole life, no shortcuts.  

Thinking of her mom has Alex reaching instinctively to her hips, but of course there's no pocket in her Hogwarts robes, and even if there was, her cell phone wouldn't be inside it.  Damn it.  God forbid technology screw up the goddamn aesthetic in the wizarding world (though her mom  _does_ still get a kick out of the school owl Alex uses to deliver letters). 

She gets bored with the seat cushions, and instead turns her wand on the prefect badge pinned to her robes, sending it cartwheeling through the air in idle patterns.  She's not sure  _what_  exactly motivated the choice to give it to her, whether it's just that she's top of classes for her house and year, or if she's too much a loner to be a proper troublemaker - Alex has never considered herself much a rule follower, but there's something lame about breaking curfew or wandering out of bounds all alone. Or maybe the intimidating, dark reputation she'd gained after the Doggett incident will just make her an effective disciplinarian.  

Eventually, Alex returns the badge to where it belongs, her craving for pointless, muscle flexing magic temporarily satisfied.  She should maybe return to the prefects carriage, but she's too embarrassed to risk running into Piper again just yet.  She'd pushed too hard, clearly, overestimating Piper's emotional investment.  

So Alex sits alone in the back compartment for the rest of the journey, trying not to glance hopefully at the compartment door every time she _thinks_ she hears footsteps.  

  

* * *

 

Even when they arrive to the Great Hall and sit down in the comfortingly familiar seats at the Ravenclaw table, Piper still hasn't shaken the conversation with Alex.  It doesn't make  _sense_ , why Alex rattles her so much. She shouldn't be important enough to do that.  

Never mind that she's  _right_ , that it's not just that Piper feels sorry for her.  Piper does like her, she always has, ever since that first day on the train.  She'd wanted to be her friend right away, and Alex had never one done anything to change Piper's mind on that point.  It's her own stupid cowardice, the fact that it was just easier to fall into step with everyone else at school when it came to Alex.

Maybe that's why Alex gets to her so much.  She's a reminder of Piper's weakness.

The Sorting is a good distraction, especially when the hat shouts out, "Chapman, Calvin!"

Piper half stands out of her seat to keep her eyes on her little brother, feeling truly out of her head for the first time since leaving Alex.  It takes just over half a minute before the hat calls out, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Disappointment and shock swells in her chest as the Gryffindor table bursts into applause for their first new addition of the day.  Piper feels an instinctive wave of anxiety - what are their parents going to say?! - but Cal is trotting over to his new table with a wide, satisfied grin.  

Getting sorted into another house, breaking family tradition and disappointing her parents, had been her biggest fear when she started at Hogwarts.  Her little brother actually  _wanted_ that.  

No wonder he's a Gryffindor.  Her eleven year old brother is braver than she'll ever be.

Piper turns around, catching Cal's eye at the Gryffindor table.  He grins at her, then gives a little apologetic shrug.  Piper forces a smile back, shaking her head in fond exasperation.

She turns back and sits in silent, broody contemplation, not paying much attention to the rest of the Sorting until the food appears on the plates.  Even then she's mostly quiet, as Tasha and Flaca and the other fifth year Ravenclaws chatter back and forth around her.  

Eventually, Tasha jams an elbow into Piper's side.  "Girl, you've been all clammed up since the train.  You have some sort of tragic summer romance you're leaving behind or something?"  

Across the table, Larry Bloom's head shoots up in interest, but Piper ignores him, glancing at Tasha and shaking her head.  "No romance."

"She think she's too good for us, now that she's got that badge," Flaca says with a smirk.  

"Hey you never told us who the other prefects are."  

"Uh.  Well you know Poussey and John Bennett are Hufflepuff.  Sophia and Robbie are Gryffindor.  And, um...Wyatt and Alex Vause are Slytherins."  

She'd been hoping to blow past that, but there are immediate reactions.  

" _Vause_?!"

"Seriously?"

"Who in Merlin's name would let her be a prefect after what she pulled with Doggett?"  

Piper feels Tasha glance sideways at her, waiting to see if she's going to say anything. She doesn't.

When the feast is over, Piper gets to her feet.  "I gotta show the first years where to go.  I'll see you in the dorm."

She starts to corral the tiny eleven year olds, who  _don't_ include her brother, toward Ravenclaw tower.  Across the Great Hall, she sees Alex smiling reassuringly at the newest Slytherins.  She watches for a moment, when suddenly Alex looks up as though aware she's being watched.  Her eyes lock with Piper's, her smile falling instantly, and it makes Piper's chest pang.

 

* * *

 

Their schedules are intense right off the bat, the immediate indication of O.W.L. year.  Piper's studying her list of classes when Cal comes trotting over to the Ravenclaw table, smugly flicking his new red and gold tie in her face and almost gleefully telling her he'd owled their parents.  

"As long as you're happy," she tells him with an eyeroll, instinctively tucking his tie back into his robes.  

"I am," he says assuredly.  "Not that you nerds don't seem great." 

Piper shoves him playfully and he goes hurrying back to his own table, but it makes her think of Alex again, the way she made  _nerd_ sound almost affectionate yesterday.

Piper returns her attention to her schedule, looking to see when they have classes with each of the other houses.

She has to wait until the afternoon for double Transfiguraton with the Slytherins, but she's been thinking about it all day, and is pretty sure her resolve is strengthened enough.  

The Slytherins are already there, filling up the left side of the classroom, and Alex is sitting alone at a table near the back and center.  

Piper walks to the table and hesitantly leans her books on the corner of the table.  "Can I sit?"

Alex looks up at her, undisguised surprise in her expression.  "Of course."

It's not exactly the sweep of scandalized reaction Piper had imagined in her more anxious moments, but people are definitely paying attention.  Most of the other Ravenclaws just looked shocked, shaded with varying degrees of judgmental, but Tasha is tilting her head at Piper like she's trying to figure something out.

Piper ignores them, just smiling at Alex like she does this all the time.

They don't get a chance to say much, as the professor comes in to give the typical lecture about the importance of their O.W.L studies.  

After fifteen minutes of getting Piper's anxiety all the way up, they start practicing vanishing spells on snails, but it's tough going and doesn't leave much time for small talk.  Across the room, Tasha's the first one to get it right, over halfway through the lecture, and Alex succeeds about five minutes later. But they're the only ones to manage it, and the rest of the class gets piled on homework.  

Everyone else seems to take their failures in stride, but Piper stays at the table, still muttering the spell under her breath and not passing her snail back as everyone else does. 

She can feel Alex watching her as she slides her books back into her messenger bag.  Piper cuts her eyes over, smiling wryly, "Any tips?" 

"I'm not sure, I'm still not consistent with it..."  Alex pauses before tentatively added, "We could meet up in the library later and work on it, if you want."

Piper hesitates, thrown off by the quick turn around of that invite, when she hears Tasha call from the door, "Pipe!  You coming to Charms?"  

Piper glances over her shoulder; Tasha's waiting impatiently for her in the classroom doorway, and there's a cluster of other curious Ravenclaws hovering as well.  The nosiness in their faces pisses Piper off, and she turns back to Alex and says, "Yeah, sounds good. After dinner?"

Alex tilts a small, crooked smile at her, but her eyes are lit all the way up.  She nods crisply.  "Yeah.  Cool." 

Piper waves as she walks off to join her friends, falling into step with Tasha and trying to ignore the others, crowding her with questions.

"Tell the truth, Pipe...are you being imperiused?"  

"Yeah, what does she have on you?"

"Shut up," Piper grits between her teeth, but it's quiet, and mostly she just ignores them until they get to Charms.

She sits down beside Tasha, who gives her a sarcastic look.  "Oh, now you get to sit with me again?"

"Don't," she says tiredly.

"Seriously, girl, what's your deal with her?" 

"Nothing."  Then, a little churlishly, "We're friends."

Tasha makes a skeptical snorting sound.  "Since when?"  

"Since the first day, on the train."

"Uh, the train  _yesterday_?"  

"No.  The  _first_ first day.  When we came to Hogwarts." Tasha is still giving her a skeptical look, so Piper sighs and admits, "And then mostly not since then."  

Tasha waits for more, but there's both too much and not enough left to explain.  Finally, Tasha just shrugs.  "I mean, you do whatever, Pipe."  

"Really?  You're not gonna warn me to be careful?"

"Hey,  _I_ know she never hexed anyone without a wand.  From what I've seen,  _you're_ the dangerous one."  That makes Piper smile a little, and then Tasha adds, "And I'm in no position to give a shit who anybody's father is.  I'm not a  _big_ fan of Slytherins, but if you say she's cool."

"She really is."  Really, really.

 

* * *

 

Alex floats on that Transfiguration class for the rest of the day.  She knows it's a bit pathetic, that Piper sitting with her in class and then agreeing to a study session is such a big deal, but whatever.  She's just glad the disaster of the train ride had apparently worked after all.

Piper comes over to the Slytherin table toward the end of dinner when people are starting to trickle out of the Great Hall.  She smiles at Alex, but she's unmistakably nervous, like she's venturing into hostile territory.  It makes Alex smirk; she'll have to let Piper know that talking to her will essentially render a person invisible to the Slytherins.  Other than the Quidditch team, completely ignoring her existence has been the strategy for Alex's housemates since she supposedly hexed Doggett.  It's a preferable existence.

Alex lets Piper off the hook, though, standing up and nodding toward the entrance to the Great Hall.  "Ready to go?"

Piper nods gratefully, grabbing a bag that seems packed with spell books and falling into step beside her, walking in amiable silence.

"Pipe!"  They're nearly out of the huge room when the voice hits them, and Alex turns around to see a little boy who definitely _has_ to be a first year nearly tripping over his robes as he comes up to Piper.  "Hey!"

Piper's whole face relaxes and softens when she smiles at him, and warmth swells in Alex's chest.  "Hey buddy."  Piper ruffles his hair.  "How was your first day?"

" _Awesome_ ," he says earnestly.  "I turned a match into a needle.  It was badass."  

" _Cal_ ," she admonishes, biting back a smile.  She seems to remember Alex then, turning to smile fully at her.  "Alex, this is my little brother.  Cal, this is my friend Alex." 

It makes Alex stupid happy to be introduced that way, even if it is to an eleven year old who has no idea who she is yet.  

Still, Cal is giving her a unabashed once over.  "You're a  _Slytherin_."

"Cal!"  

Alex grins, parroting back, "And you're a  _Gryffindor_."  She slides her eyes to meet Piper's, arching an eyebrow in genuine surprise.  

Cal puffs his chest out proudly.  "I know."  

"Guess that makes us rivals," Alex jokes with a smirk.

His eyes flash a happy challenge.  "Do you play Quidditch?"  

"Yeah, I'm a Beater."  

"Really?  I didn't know girls played that position." 

Piper thwacks him on the back of the head for that.  

"Hey!"

"Watch it.  Alex is really good."  

"She's right, I am," Alex assures him with a wink.  

Cal grins back, and then Piper says, "Cal, we're going to do some work in the library, okay?  I'll see you later.  Do your homework."  

He rolls his eyes.  "Gee, thanks, Mom."

He trots off, and Piper and Alex continue on their way out of the Great Hall, Alex throwing Piper a curious look.  "So.  Your brother's a Gryffindor." 

"Yeah, I know. First non-Ravenclaw in the family."

"Wow.  I should pay more attention during the Sortings, I miss out on family scandals."

"Merlin, I'm dreading hearing from my parents.  No idea what they're gonna say to Cal...no one ever got a Howler over their sorting, right?"

"I wouldn't be surprised.  He doesn't seem bummed, though."   

"Oh, no, the opposite.  He  _wanted_ to be in a different house.  Didn't even care which one.  He doesn't care what our parents think...kinda likes doing his own thing."  Off Alex's amused, pointed look, she laughs softly and adds, "Yeah, we're... _really_ different."  

Alex flashes her a smile.  "Obviously."  Alex starts toward a swiveling staircase that will take them toward the library, but Piper tugs her elbow in the other direction.

"If we're doing spellwork we should find an empty classroom."

"Oh, right."  

They settle into the first empty room they come across.  Alex perches on the edge of a table, twirling her wand idly between her fingers as Piper unpacks a variety of random objects from her bag.  Then, rather than pull out her own wand, she sits down in a chair and pulls out her book and opens it to a marked page.

"What are you doing?" 

"Re-reading the theory."

Alex rolls her eyes and reaches over the close the book over Piper's fingers.  "Knowing you, you've memorized the theory already.  Reading it one more time won't help."

Piper scowls, but she also slides her fingers from between the books pages and stands up, pulling out her wand.  After a moment, though, she throws Alex a look.  " _Knowing_ me?"

Alex raises an eyebrow.  "Am I wrong?" 

"Well.  No."

Her expression turns smug.  "See?"  

They practice for awhile, the only words the frequently repeated spell.  Alex is managing the spell, but only two out three times, so she doesn't offer any tips.

After nearly ten minutes of work, Alex comments, "They should teach us to Conjure before they teach us to Vanish."

"Conjuring's more difficult,"  Piper mutters distractedly.  

"Yeah but it's hard to practice Vanishing because if you're doing it right, you run out of shit to vanish."  

Piper bursts out laughing, her whole face scrunching adorably when she does, and as soon as the laugh fades, Alex grabs her shoulders and turns her toward the row of objects.  "Go ahead, do it now."

Startled, Piper obeys anyway, aiming her wand and blurting out, "Evanesco!"  

The tissue she's aiming at disappears, and Piper lets out a yelp of delight.  

Alex grins, triumphant.  "I thought so.  You get to a certain point and you're overthinking it."

Piper meets Alex's eyes, her smile tilting.  "Guess you do know me." 

Alex flicks her eyebrows.  "Told ya." 

Slowly, Piper's smile fades a little into an almost puzzled expression, her eyes digging into Alex's face like she's searching for something.  "How is that?"  

"What?"

"We had  _one_  conversation with actual substance, and we were _eleven_.  So.  Why is it you know me?"  

Alex starts to say something snarky, but the look on Piper's face cuts off the instinct, and suddenly the air between them turns serious.  Alex shifts her weight, feeling oddly uncomfortable.  "I haven't made any major revelations here, Pipes."

Piper reacts, barely, to the nickname, not the first time Alex has used it, but then presses on, "I mean it.  I've lived in the same room as some of my other friends for four years, and none of them thought anything about my brother getting into Gryffindor - "

"You _told_ me on the train that your whole family was in Ravenclaw - "

"And you've helped me before, with spells.  You know what I'm doing wrong."

"We've had classes together for four years."

"I've had more classes with Tasha for four years.  And the other Ravenclaws."  

Alex starts pointlessly rearranging the objects in a row.  "Okay...what's your point, Pipes?"

Piper makes a smug,  _so there_ sort of face.  "So.  You've been paying attention.  Which means _you_ like me, too.   _You_ want to be my friend."  

It takes Alex a second to realize Piper is referring to what she said yesterday, on the train.  Then, Alex lifts her face to look at Piper, and immediately Piper's victorious smile drops completely.  "I do," Alex says quietly.  "I never pretended not to." 

Piper's face flushes, and she jerks her gaze away from Alex's.  

The silence that settles then is awkward, for the first time.  Alex finally breaks it by pointing a wand and absently muttering the incantation, vanishing a cracked ink bottle.  Piper follows her lead, repeating the spell.  It takes her two tries but then she succeeds again.  They work side by side until all the objects are gone.  

Alex watches Piper vanish the last thing, an earring that she's guessing was missing a match.  Alex nods.  "Nice."

"Guess I don't need you making me laugh every time."

"Once you know you can do it once, you usually don't have trouble," Alex explains without thinking, instantly regretting it.  Probably best not to keep demonstrating how much attention she's paid to Piper over the last four years of sharing a few classes.  

"Well," Piper says finally, stuffing the forgotten spell book back in her bag.  "Thanks."  

"Sure."  Alex cracks a smile, joking, "Want me to walk you home?" 

Piper smiles back and nods.  They leave together, and true to her word, Alex heads toward Ravenclaw Tower.  They don't talk, and it feels like a heavy, waiting quiet: like Piper's working toward saying something.  As soon as she thinks that, Alex has to wonder herself about where her instincts with Piper come from.  Not all of them can be chalked up to simply observing from across rooms, even if Alex had done a fair bit of that.  

Sure enough, as soon as the bottom of Ravenclaw Tower's spiral staircase is within view, Piper turns to her and blurts out, "We can be friends now, right?  Like.  Real ones?"  

It would be a good time to play hard to get, remind Piper that _she_ was always the one stopping that from happening, but Alex doesn't have it in her.  She wants this too much, and she can't keep hold of the smile spreading across her face.  

"If you want." 

"I do."

"You always did."

"Yeah.  But..."

"I know."  

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Friends?"  

"You need to shake on it?"

Alex extends her hand sardonically, and Piper playfully shoves it away.

"You don't have to walk me up the stairs."

"Okay.  I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."  

"Goodnight, Piper."

"Night, Alex."

Alex doesn't stop smiling the whole walk back to the Slytherin common room.  Today felt like magic.

It isn't until she's retreated into her dormitory, drawn the curtains around her bed and cast her usual spell to block out noise from outside, that any sort of darkness seeps into Alex's good mood.  She remembers what she saw in the mirror when she was thirteen, the very last time she'd gone looking for it, as though staying away from the thing that showed her strongest desires meant those desires would disappear.  

No.  She's not going to go there.

Pathetic or not, this is the best day Alex has had at this damn school in all four years she's been here.  Better than the first time she flew, the day she figured out how to appreciate her magic, the day she made the Quidditch team.  This day kicked those days' asses.

So Alex is going to take it, and she's not going to ruin it by wishing for more.

She and Piper are friends.  Before any of the rest of it, _that_ is what Alex wanted.

 

* * *

 

For the first few weeks of term, Alex kind of keeps waiting for it to go away.  But it doesn't.  

Piper sits with her in the few classes they have together.  They do homework together in the library, sometimes, and even lounge outside the grounds a few times during free periods.  

The first Hogsmeade weekend comes, and though Piper walks over with her usual group of Ravenclaw friends, plus Poussey and a few other Hufflepuffs, she leaves them after an hour or two and meets Alex in the Three Broomsticks.

One thing Piper doesn't do is invite Alex to hang out with her other friends.  She keeps her entirely separated, and while Alex is well aware that the implications of that aren't great, it's hard to get too worked up over it: she likes hanging out with Piper one on one.

 

* * *

 

"Give it _back_!"

"What's the matter, Willick, don't want anyone reading your little diary?"

"Jump a little higher, mate, we're not even making this hard!" 

" _Stop."_

"If you weren't such a little Squib you could use your wand to get it down - "

" _HEY_."  

Alex's voice cuts through the sound of taunting and laughter in the corridor as she and Piper patrol the halls together.  Two third year Gryffindor boys have their wands whipped out, keeping a book moving aloft between the two of them, while a tearful, red faced second year jumps for it.

Alex gets there first, Piper behind her, and Alex moves her hair behind her shoulder, making sure her prefect badge is visible, but it's not necessary.  The cluster of younger kids have gone dead quiet at her present, and Alex flicks her wand and the book comes zooming into her hand.  "Ten points from Gryffindor,  _each_ ," she says harshly.  "No one likes bullies."  She points her wand at one of them, just for emphasis, but the boy in question lets out a frightened yelp and dashes away, the other at his heels. 

Rolling her eyes, Alex holds out the book to the smaller boy.  He reaches out, his hand trembling, and doesn't move any closer to her then he needs to.  "You okay?"  

He nods mutely, but he's clearly afraid to look Alex in the eye, and turns to go the second the book is in his hand. 

"Hey, _stop_ running."  

The little boy freezes, turning around, trepidation swirling in his eyes.  Alex walks up to him, arms folded, one eyebrow arched.  "I just saved you from those punk assholes.   _Why_ are you so scared of me?"  

"Alex..."  Piper murmurs from behind her, half-amused, half-admonishing. 

Ignoring her, Alex waves an impatient hand at the kid.  "C'mon, you gotta answer, I'm a prefect."  

"I, uh..."  

Piper steps in front of her, addressing the boy sympathetically.  "You can go."  

"Thanks, miss!"  He runs off, relieved.  Piper gives Alex a look.  

Alex shrugs, unapologetic.  "This is your fault.  You gave me this reputation."  

"Not  _all_ of it," Piper shoots back, then makes a scrunchy, regretful face.  "Sorry."

"Harsh, but true."  

"Makes you an effective prefect, though."

"Yeah I'm pretty sure that's why they gave it to me." 

 

* * *

 

Most of the Ravenclaws give up prodding Piper about her friendship with Alex after the first few weeks, and Tasha and Poussey, though continually curious, are never particularly judgmental about it.

Still, for most of Hogwarts, attitude toward Alex hasn't changed.  The Doggett incident isn't talked about much anymore, but the conclusions drawn from it persist, and it's generally accepted that Alex is into dangerous, dark magic, a tendency presumably inherited from her Death Eater father.  

There has been a change, in fifth year, besides Piper's newly overt friendship. The boys, fifth year and older, start to try to approach Alex, like they haven't badmouthed or ignored her for years. They treat it almost like a dare, wanting to get close to the danger and darkness.

Piper sees boys talking to Alex a few times, and though the conversations never seem to last long, and Alex never mentions any of them, it always pisses Piper off and puts her in a foul mood for hours at a time.

Once, at a Quidditch match just before Christmas, Slytherin versus Hufflepuff, Piper's in the stands with Tasha and Poussey, and most of the Ravenclaw boys from their year have ended up behind them.  On the pitch, a Bludger aimed by Alex sends a Hufflepuff Chaser spinning off course, preventing a goal, and Piper grins even as Poussey groans dramatically beside her. 

A few seconds later, she hears Alex's name from behind her.  Her shoulders stiffen, but she doesn't turn around, just stares straight ahead and listens to Joel Luschek regaling Larry Bloom and the others with a supposed encounter with Alex in the Room of Requirement, where apparently he discovered a bed, ready and waiting.  

Piper realizes she's grinding her teeth when a pulsing ache starts up in her jaw.  Her fists are bunched around material of her robes, and her eyes are wild.  She can feel Poussey watching her, and Piper tries to calm herself down because she is at least eighty percent sure he's making this shit up.  

 

* * *

 

"Have you kissed Joel Luschek?" 

Alex makes a loud, spluttering sound, her head jerking up to look at Piper and managing to look both disgusted and amused.  " _What_?"  

They're on the Hogwarts Express, heading home for the Christmas holidays, and Piper hadn't really meant to say that.  

They're sitting on the same side of the compartment, Alex leaning against the wall by the window, Piper leaning against the wall by the door, knees drawn up, feet beside each other in the middle.  And Alex is looking at Piper like she's insane.

"He said you made out."  He'd said more than that, but Piper doesn't even want to go into it.  

"Um.  No.  First of all, Joel Luschek's a prick.  Second of all, I don't make out with guys."  Alex says it casually, not like she's revealing something, but the new information reverberates through Piper's body anyway.  Oblivious, Alex continues, "I mean, I guess technically, I don't make out with  _anyone_.  At the moment.  But.  If I were..."  She shrugs.  

"Oh."  Piper nods for a long time.  "Cool."

At the least cool sounding declaration of _cool_ ever, Alex looks up, smirking.  "Why?"

"Just wondering."  

"Uh-huh," Alex says, but she says it smugly.  After a moment, she asks casually, "Have you kissed Larry Bloom?"

"I.  Just, um.  He kissed me at the Yule Ball last year."

"Oh."

"But never since."  

"Cool."  

 

* * *

 

When they've fetched their stuff from the prefects' carriage, Alex taps her knuckles gently against Piper's elbow.  "Have a good holiday."

"Yeah, you, too.  I'll see you in a few weeks."  

They smile, almost questioning, like both of them want to say more, but suddenly Cal comes running up, dragging his bag behind him and seizes the back of Piper's robes.  "Pipe, come _on_ , I'm not dealing with them alone, you gotta run interference."  

Alex laughs and Piper rolls her eyes, giving Alex one last smile before letting her little brother pull her away.  

Alex feels it when she leaves, a dull thud in her chest like the anticipation of missing her, but then Alex moves off the train and starts scanning the crowd for her mom, breaking into a grin as she spots Diane in the crowd.

"Mom!"  She waves before running over and into her mom's waiting arms.  

"Hey, baby!"  Diane holds her tight, familiar fingers stroking Alex's hair.  She draws back to look her, smiling widely.  "It's so damn good to see you."

"You, too.  Let's go home."  

As they're walking off the platform, Alex catches Piper's eye across the platform - standing next to her parents and older brother, all of whom seem to be focused on Cal at the moment - and Alex lifts her hand in a wave.  Piper waves back.

Her mom follows Alex's gaze.  "Is that Piper?"

"Yeah."

Diane bumps her shoulder against Alex's.  "I don't get to meet her?"  

" _No_."

"Oh, c'mon, I want to meet your best friend....and I want to meet a real witch." 

"Hello?   _I'm_ a real witch."  

"Well, I've known that since you were two years old, babe."

 

* * *

 

The Christmas holiday feels longer this year than it ever has, and Piper's excited and relieved when it's time to return to Hogwarts.  

She looks for Alex in the crowd of the platform but doesn't see her, so Piper tells her parents goodbye fairly quickly and heads to the prefects carriage, but Alex isn't there yet, either.

She's stowing her trunk when Piper feels a tug on her robes, and she spins around to see Alex grinning at her.  Piper's so happy to see her she hugs her without thinking, the first time they've done that.

"Nice to see you, too, Pipes," Alex snarks in her ear, amused, before pulling back and grabbing hold of her wrist. "C'mon, my mom wants to meet you before we leave."

"Really?!"  Piper's smile widens.  Alex talks about her mom all the time.

"Yeah, but one thing..." Alex stops, hesitant.  "Don't mention my father or anything, okay?"

"Merlin, why would I bring that up?"

"I don't know.  You wouldn't.  Sorry, it's stupid, just...she doesn't know.  So I get nervous, when she's here."

"Okay," Piper nods assuringly, but she frowns slightly to herself as soon as Alex turns to tug her back into the throng of people on the platform.  If Alex's mom doesn't know about Lee Burley's reputation in the wizarding world, she probably doesn't know how her daughter gets treated at school because of it.  

"Mom!  This is Piper," Alex is saying as they approach a pretty woman wearing blue eye shadow and a waitress uniform under her coat.  

Piper smiles politely and sticks out her hand.  "Nice to meet you, Ms. Vause."

Alex's mom grins at her, shaking her hand and then pulling her into a quick hug.  "Call me Diane.  Nice to _finally_ meet you, too.   Can't believe it's taken this many years."  

Piper slides a glance at Alex without thinking; Alex's face is red, and she's avoiding Piper's eyes, and it clues Piper in.  She turns back to Diane and smiles, smoothly replying, "Alex talks about you all the time."

Diane winks.  "You, too, honey."

"Okay," Alex cuts in loudly.  "Mom, we gotta go.  Patrols and stuff."

"Oh, right, fancy prefects.  Don't let me keep you."  She hugs Alex, long and hard, then kisses the side of her head.  "Love you, babe."

"Love you, too," Alex gives her a strained smile that makes Piper sad for her.  She remembers Alex telling her once that she always hates leaving her mom alone.  

"Have a good term.  You, too, Pipe."

"Nice meeting you," Piper says again, smiling at Diane one more time before she and Alex head back onto the train.  

 

* * *

 

Their work load only increases in the second half of the school year, and with O.W.L.s bearing down, Piper has turned into a live wire of buzzing anxiety that only Alex has occasional success in calming.

Even she can't do much about Piper's state of mind once the fifth years are scheduled for career advice meetings, just after Easter.  Piper spends the long weekend pouring over leaflets for various careers, and the N.E.W.T level classes required for each one.  Alex mainly tunes her out as she reads aloud the various qualifications, just chiming in occasionally to reiterate how strange she finds it that so much of their futures depend on what classes they choose to take at age sixteen.

"What do you think you want to be then?" Piper prods, probably to distract herself from her own uncertainty.  "You're a Slytherin, aren't you supposed to be super ambitious?"

"Oh, I've got ambition," Alex replies lazily.  "Just not very specific, yet."

"You'd be a good Auror," Piper tells her, trying to shove a pamphlet across the library table.  "You're so good at Defense and Transfiguration..."

Alex looks up from her Potions essay to shoot Piper a sarcastic look.  "Oh, sure the Aurors would love me.  Daughter of a Death Eater, who may or may not still be alive....I could hunt him down and they'd make a movie."  

"I don't think it would matter," Piper insists.  "Have you heard of Nymphadora Tonks?"

They'd just studied the Second War in History of Magic.  "She was the  _niece_ of Death Eaters.  Bit more leeway there.  Besides," Alex adds darkly.  "Didn't her aunt kill her for her trouble?  Not exactly inspiring."  

"Fine," Piper takes the leaflet back, wisely moving on.  "What about a professor?  You could come back her and teach."  

Alex makes a scoffing sound at that, but more amused than annoyed this time.  "Right.  I'd end up killing a student out of annoyance."

"Oh, c'mon.  You're always so good at helping me understand practical spells...and you're really patient."

Alex glances up and grins at her.  "Yeah, well, not everyone's as cute as you are, Pipes.  Makes me more tolerant."  She returns to her essay, doesn't let the comment linger, but Piper's skin heats up, instantly, in a not altogether unpleasant way.   

 

* * *

 

Slytherin is playing Ravenclaw for the Quidditch Final, a fact Alex is delighted by until, after a week of trying, she has to accept that Piper isn't invested enough in the sport - or, these days, general house pride - to be any fun to trash talk.  

"I don't see how any of you are so concerned with a _game_ when we've got O.W.L.s coming up."  

"Merlin, no sense of fun anymore."  Alex sighs wistfully.  "These tests have changed you."

But it _is_ kind of hard to keep up with studying on top of marathon Quidditch practices, and Janae gets her fair share of grumbling from the three players on the team who are either fifth or seventh years - even though she  _herself_ is taking N.E.W.T.s, though she's already being scouted for professional Quidditch teams, so perhaps her lack of focus on academics is understandable.  

Still, Alex is pumped for the match.  They've come in second for the Cup the last two years she's played, and she wants a win - especially since she's not entirely certain she won't be cut from the team next year, depending on who succeeds Janae as Captain. 

It hasn't been her best season.  The Beater she'd played with the last two years had graduated last year, and she's been working with Leanne Taylor, who in spite of being a fourth year, is tight with Tiffany Doggett, which means she hates Alex even more than most people.  

So Alex has taken team work out of the equation, and been pretty impressive, considering.  She'd tried talking to Janae on multiple occasions about replacing her partner, once even explaining to her that most Muggle sports have extra players they can bring in as subs, in case anyone is having an off day and not playing well, but the Quidditch captain had just given Alex an appalled look, as if she was suggesting Janae herself spend a single game minute off the pitch.

Slytherin has to win by at least two hundred and ten points to win the Cup, which adds more strategy than is typical, as well as puts more pressure on the non-Seeker members of the team.  

 

* * *

  

The morning of the Quidditch Final, Piper dutifully dons as much blue and bronze as is possible with her robes and, at Tasha's somewhat exasperated insistences, leaves her books behind in the dorm.  A few other Ravenclaws make sarcastic comments during breakfast - "was half expecting you to show up in green, Chapman" - but they all walk a thin line between joking and genuine malice, so she lets it go.  

Truthfully, Piper  _is_ hoping Alex wins.

To that end, when she finishes eating, Piper walks over to the end of the Slytherin table where the team is congregated for breakfast in a cluster of green robes.  Her own house colors on display more than usual, Piper is immediately greeted by loud booing, which at least gets Alex's attention.  She turns around and grins when she sees Piper, getting to her feet and moving away from the rest of the team.  "You're awfully brave," she says with a smirk.  "Crossing enemy lines."  

Piper rolls her eyes.  "I come in peace, I guess?  Just wanted to say good luck."

Alex's eyes flash triumphantly.  "Thanks, Pipes.  And don't worry about sitting with your cronies.  I know in my heart who you're supporting."  

Piper laughs, but for some reason, she can feel her chest getting hot.  The Slytherin Quidditch robes make Alex's eyes seem overly saturated, so green it's hard to hold her gaze.  Piper's heard the Slytherin common room is bathed in green light; she wonders what Alex's eyes look like in there.

Now her pulse feels erratic and she's almost definitely blushing, and because Alex knows her so well, she tilts her head, questioning.  "You nervous about something?"

"Oh, you know me...O.W.L.s."  

"Geez, kid.  Give yourself a two hour break."  She playfully flicks the thin blue and bronze scarf hanging over Piper's shoulders.  "Relax and watch me sully your colors."  

 

* * *

 

It is a nail biter of a game, and Piper even finds herself genuinely paying attention to the action.  Usually, individual Quidditch games bore her: you can essentially just tune in when the Snitch is spotted.  But the score is of more immediate importance here, which makes everything seem more relevant.   

The Ravenclaw Chasers are probably a better unit, but Janae is the best player on the pitch, dominating the offense with the other two supporting her.  Alex is the best Beater playing, easily, protecting her Chasers and preventing many Ravenclaw goals, allowing Slytherin to gain and maintain a decent lead.  

Leanne, though, is giving Alex nothing to work with, being even more blatant this game than she's been all season in freezing Alex out, taking wild, rogue shots rather than pass the Bludger to Alex at a better angle.  Janae is openly yelling at her, Piper can hear it even in the stands, but Leanne seems unbothered.  

The score keeps slipping between Slythern being sixty or seventy up - enough of a lead to catch the Snitch and win the cup - and forty or fifty.

They're ahead by sixty when the Slytherin Seeker, Martiza, goes into a sudden nosedive.  The Ravenclaw Seeker is nowhere near her, and Piper's section of the stands breaks into moans of dread and anger as she streaks toward the easy win.

Piper turns her attention to Alex, pulling up short as the attention of all the Chasers turn toward the other end of the pitch.  Alex lets go of her and sits up, just hovering there, a grin on her face just as Madame Figueroa blows a whistle to end the match.

Cheers erupt from the Slytherin section, and at the same moment Leanne, seemingly unaware that play has stopped, finally decides to pass a Bludger in Alex's direction.

It slams into her back, toppling her off her broom.

She falls.

All the way down.

" _ALEX_!!!!"  Piper's anguished, terrified scream rips out of her throat, and it silences the crowd around her.

 

* * *

  

She wakes up in the hospital wing.

Her shoulder feels strangely buoyant, weird enough that it's the first thing Alex notices, but it doesn't hurt.  All the hurt seems to be stored in her head.  It hurts to open her eyes, and she lets out a quiet whine of realization, sinking further back into the pillows.  

"Alex?"  a quiet, familiar voice prods from right beside her, and Alex presses a hand to her forehead before braving the dim light of the infirmary, opening her eyes and even turning her head so she can see Piper, sitting in a chair beside her bed, arms pillowed on the edge of the mattress.  

Piper's hair is messy and her eyes are red, and for some reason the first thing Alex blurts out is, "You're not studying."  

Piper gifts her with a patented  _what the fuck_ kind of look, then chooses to ignore that inane statement.  "Do you remember what happened?"  

"Bitch knocked me off my broom," Alex answers, gingerly lifting her arm, bending it at the elbow.  

"Here...I'm supposed to give you this..."  Piper passes over a bar of chocolate waiting from the bedside table.

Alex takes it gratefully, but rolls her eyes as she does.  "You people and your chocolate."  

"You broke bones in your arm.  And a few ribs," Piper informs her.  "They're healed already...but you still have a concussion, so Madame Pomphrey gave you a sleeping draught."  Piper swallows hard, voice fading a little, "Even though you were already unconscious."  

"Funny.  Muggles try to keep you  _awake_ for a concussion," Alex says absently, still testing her newly healed bones as if she doesn't trust them.  "Don't you think it's kind of messed up that we just keep all this healing stuff to ourselves?  Most people have to at bare minimum wear casts for over a month when they break a bones.  Sometimes even have surgery.  And here we are just kind of..."  She flicks a hand to indicate magic.  "My mom broke her ankle a few years ago, stocking shelves at work...and they told her not to walk on it, but she couldn't take six weeks off work even  _without_ the extra medical bills.  She was waiting tables for two months wearing one of those brace things, and it almost definitely didn't heal right.  Isn't that fucked?"  She looks at Piper expectantly, but she barely seems to be listening to Alex.  "You don't think so?"  Then, waving her fully functional hand in Piper's face. "Pipes?"

"You..."  Piper's voice comes out weird, all strangled and wet.  She shakes her head hard, then tries again.  "You _fell_." 

"I know.  I was there."  

"You fell...really far."

"I actually reached for my wand mid-air.  Then realized I didn't have it.  I wanted to do a cushioning charm or something."

"I think one of the professors must've slowed you down.  Because otherwise..."  Piper's chin trembles.  "For a second I thought you were dead."

Her voice cracks, and it shakes Alex out of the strange, woke-up-in-the-Hospital-Wing numbness.  "Hey..."  She puts a hand on Piper's arm.  "Hey.  I'm okay."  Piper nods sharply, but she's still blinking back tears.  Alex smiles gently at her.  "You didn't hex anyone did you?" 

"No."  Piper wipes the heel of her hand under her eyes.  Alex feels her whole heart soften, and without thinking she lifts her hand off Piper's arm and skims it through her hair.  Piper looks at her, but she doesn't seem taken aback by the gesture.  She smiles weakly.  "Sorry...you really are fine, it just...it scared me."

"Thanks for caring," Alex says simply, reluctantly withdrawing her hand.

"Are you okay?  Does anything hurt?" 

"Head."  

"Here."  Piper shoves the chocolate at Alex again.  

"What time is it?"

"I'm not sure.  Late, I think."

"Guess I missed the victory party.  Leanne and I should have celebrated like the great team we are."  Alex rolls her eyes.  She's pissed, but she'll deal with that later.  "You should go to bed, Pipes.  You've still got class tomorrow...assume I'll be excused."  

"I'm good here."

 

* * *

 

Piper stays all night, getting only a little bit of sleep with her head pillowed in her arms on the side of Alex's bed.  She skips breakfast, too, then reluctantly heads off to class, seeming unfocused on studying and O.W.L.s for the first time in weeks.  Alex jokes at one point that she got hurt just to make Piper talk about something else, but the comment earns her a dirty look and not even a hint of amusement.  

Janae comes to visit between her own classes in the morning, bringing a piece of cake she'd saved from the victory party and plenty of insults toward Leanne, but she's obviously still riding high off the win, which makes her seem less sympathetic.   

At one point, she hesitates and says, "Your little Ravenclaw girlfriend's a bit, uh...dramatic, huh?"  

Alex doesn't mind the mistaken title, at all, but she doesn't think Piper would want  _that_ getting around.  "She's not my girlfriend."  

"Whatever.  She lost her  _shit_.  Ran  _onto the Quidditch pitch_."  It's clear Janae considers that the height of disrespect.  "Yelling at everyone.  Dramatic as hell."  She pauses.  "And she was definitely _acting_ like your girlfriend.  "

Alex has to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from smiling inappropriately.  

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. This isn't our final chapter. It's sort of a mini-chapter. 
> 
> It's probably evident that this fic got away from me, length wise, from the beginning. When I do self-contained AUs like this (i.e. all the non-YB AUs), they're usually not supposed to be super plot heavy: it's all about world building (how do Alex and Piper fit into the AU) and then the only story is how, in this world, they'd find and fall for each other. 
> 
> But this one got long. And there's more...tons more scenes I imagined, because obviously I have a soft spot for this world. But this chapter takes care of all the relevant plot. So I decided to go ahead and post it. I'll update the other scenes, too, probably post-season three...because I've got a project happening next week, leading up to the premiere, that I wanted to have focus for, but I didn't feel like leaving Lumos dangling for that long unupdated. More on next weeks stuff at the bottom, but hope this at least hold us over a little. Sorry it's so short.

**Fifth Year (still)**

* * *

 

Piper's not used to running on this little sleep - a few fitful half hours here and there in the hospital wing, and she feels jittery and disoriented when she hurries into her first class of the day with only a few minutes to spare.  She'd skipped breakfast, just stopped quickly by the empty dormitory in time to grab her books. 

It's Defense Against the Dark Arts, just the other Ravenclaw fifth years, and for once Piper doesn't remember to anticipate reactions - but there's a definite hush when she comes in.  Too tired to worry about the staring, Piper drops into her usual seat beside Tasha and starts pulling out books.

Tasha wordlessly holds out a muffin wrapped in a napkin.  Piper takes it gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Figured you'd be hungry."  

Piper hides the food behind her bag on the table, breaking off small bites.  She waits until the pre-class chatter picks up again around the room before mumbling, "Everyone mad about losing?"

"I guess," Tasha says neutrally.  Then, after a moment, "You spend the night in the Hospital Wing?"  

"Yeah."

"Your girl okay?"

Piper's also too tired to register the phrasing.  Or at least, too tired to object to it.  "Yeah.  Concussion.  Bones already healed."  

The professor comes in, then, and Piper shoves what's left of her muffin in her bag, pulling out her book instead.  As soon as the lecture starts, her exhaustion decides to really kick in.  Even her stress over O.W.L.s feels put to sleep.  

She'll have to check with Tasha later, see if she missed any important exam tips when they were going out the other ear, but right now she just wants to get through the morning classes so she can get back to Alex.

Piper knows, intellectually, that she won't be in the hospital wing for much longer.  Madame Pomphrey will probably let her out by lunch at the latest.  But  _seeing_ Alex seems very important right now.  When Alex is actually in front of her, it makes it easier not to think about her falling that far, hitting the ground that hard.  

Their last class before lunch is double Potions with the Hufflepuffs, and when Professor Parker splits them into pairs, Piper moves automatically in the direction of Larry Bloom's table, but then Poussey tugs the sleeve of her robe.  "C'mon, Pipe, you're with me."  

Tasha whips around, screwing her face in exaggerated offense.  "Geez, what'd I do to you?"  

Poussey smirks.  "You were with her all morning, I wanna get a scoop, too."

Piper sighs and rolls her eyes, but as they start working, Poussey doesn't ask any questions.  They don't talk about anything other than the potion they're working on until nearly forty-five minutes into class, when Poussey slides her gaze to where Tasha's impatiently working with Larry, before turning back to Piper.  "So.  Alex Vause.  You  _like_ her?" 

Piper keeps her eyes on the potion she's stirring - three strokes clockwise, two counterclockwise - ignoring the nerves fluttering in her chest.  "Yeah, I mean.  She's my best friend."  

As soon as she says it, it occurs to Piper that she can't remember the last time she used that phrase.  Until she and Alex started hanging out this year, Tasha was undoubtedly the person she's closest to, but Tasha and Poussey always had the best friend label, and Piper never felt like encroaching.  But now she uses the term confidentially, for maybe the first time;  she likes thinking of Alex as her best friend. 

Poussey seems uninterested in this momentous moment for Piper, just rolls her eyes impatiently, lowering her voice a little.  "You know what I mean.  I'm not talking about _friends_.  You into her?" 

Cheeks warming instantly, Piper looks away, dodging the question.  "What, just because of yesterday?"

"Not  _just._ But yesterday didn't hurt the theory."

" _You_ would react the same way if Tasha got hurt," Piper retorts challengingly.  

There's a pause, and then Poussey answers, her voice even quieter.  "Yeah.  Exactly."

Piper looks up again to meets her friends gaze, slowly cluing in.  " _Oh_..."  

For a second, Poussey looks pained, but then she visibly shakes it off.  "I'm just sayin'.  If you like her, it's cool. She seems like she's into you, too."

Piper smiles without thinking.  "Yeah?"  

"For sure."  

She can't stop the smiling, now, and Piper ducks her head to stir a random potion ingredient until she gets that under control.  

After a few moments, Piper chances a look over again.  Now  _Poussey's_ the one working too intently, pointedly avoiding eye contact.  Piper feels a tug of guilt and sympathy in her stomach, and she murmurs,  "If you ever need to talk about -"

"Thanks, but I'm cool," she cuts her off, voice clipped and dismissive.  "But, you know.  You get yours, girl."  

 

* * *

 

Alex is back at the Slytherin table at lunch - she grins and flicks her eyebrows at Piper in greeting - and Piper spends a few minutes just enjoying the relief at Alex being upright and okay before her thoughts wander back to what Poussey said.  

She doesn't actually get to talk to Alex until double Transfiguration that afternoon, when she slides into the seat next to Piper's looking no worse for the wear.  "How you feeling?"

"Good as new."  Alex shakes her arm out, making a face.  "Still can't get over this fucking bone healing thing, but whatever.  Would've sucked trying to take O.W.L.s with my wand arm in a cast." 

 _O.W.L.s_.  Merlin, Piper had nearly forgotten, hasn't given them a single thought all day.  

"Janae came to visit before they left me out." 

"That's nice of her."

"You didn't tell me you ran onto the pitch."

Piper tenses a little.  "I  _did_ tell you I thought you were dead for a second.  What'd you think, I just waited in the stands to make sure you weren't?"  

Alex smirks a little, apparently thinking the possibility of her death by deliberate Quidditch foul is amusing.  "Fair point.  Wish I'd be conscious to see the freak out."  

Piper exhales a sharp, huffing sound, feeling pissed off for some reason.  She stays mostly quiet for the rest of class, and Piper can tell Alex notices but she doesn't say anything about it until they're packing to go.  Lifting one eyebrow, she asks, "You good?"  

"Yeah," Piper replies shortly, barely looking at her.  "Just thinking about how much studying I have to do to make up for last night."

She starts toward the classroom door, not checking to see if Alex is following her, but a second later an edgy, sarcastic, " _Sorry_ ," hisses right by her ear.  "I told you you didn't have to stay." 

"Don't be stupid, of course I was gonna stay."  It comes out harsher than she intends.  Piper quickens her pace, eyeing Tasha several paces ahead, sparing one glance back at Alex and forcing a smile that feels more like a grimace.  "I'll see you later, okay?"

 

* * *

 

At dinner that night she catches Alex's eye and waves across the Great Hall, but for the first time practically all year, Piper doesn't meet up with her after.  She eats quickly and heads back to Ravenclaw Tower even before Tasha or Flaca or anyone else is halfway done.

When Tasha shows up in the Common Room a half hour later, Poussey sneaks in with her.  They settle next to Piper in front of the fireplace, spreading out textbook and parchment full of notes, and Poussey gives Piper this  _knowing_ look.

It's incredibly annoying.

It's quiet in the Common Room, as is usual as exams approach, so Piper can't blame the atmosphere on her lack of focus.  Her mind keeps meandering away from old Herbology notes and onto Alex, and occasionally Tasha and Poussey:  she keeps glancing over at them, trying to read something in Poussey's eyes when she looks at her best friend.  

She's been studying with Alex, most nights, working around Alex's Quidditch practice schedule, and even though she hadn't outright  _ignored_ her today, it was still a change in routine and would feel like a blow off.  Piper's trying not to feel too bad about it, but the out of nowhere she gets a late onset sense of déjà vu:  this is what it was like in all the years before this one, barely acknowledging Alex from a distance before escaping with her other, easier to deal with friends.

Piper's chest tightens.  She abruptly starts gathering up her notes.

"Where you going?"  

"I'm supposed to meet Alex."

" _Now_?"  Tasha asks skeptically; there's only about an hour before curfew.

"I'm late," she explains lamely.  "I'll see you later."

Piper drops her thick stack of study materials in her dorm before heading out.  The library is closed, but she hopefully checks a few of the empty classrooms Alex likes to work in.  They're empty.  Running on a strange urgency, Piper heads down to dungeons, going lower and lower on stone steps until she gets to the stone wall she's seen Alex entire the Slytherin Common Room through.  The door's concealed right now, and Piper does't know the password, isn't even sure it would work for her if she did.  

She stares stupidly at the wall, annoyed.  They live in the same castle, for Merlin's sake.  It shouldn't be this hard to track someone down to talk.

A few older students, seventh years by the look of them, walk past Piper and give her narrow, suspicious looks.  

"I'm just waiting for someone," she mutters, leaning against another wall and trying to seem casual.  The Slytherins glance at each other, then mutter the password with a quiet quickness that feels like overkill, shooting her pointed looks as they go through the revealed door.  It's gone before Piper can work up the nerve to walk into the common room by herself.  

A few more minutes crawl by, and Piper's starting to deflate.  She's debating heading back to bed when a little twelve year old Slytherin girl comes running down the stairs and toward the door, obviously flustered and trying not to be late.

Piper steps in front of her, ostentatiously adjusting her prefect badge, and the little girl's eyes go wide.  "Do you know who Alex Vause is?"

Surprise chases away the caught expression on the kid's face.  "Yeah....she's one of our Beaters."

"I need you to tell her to come down here," she says, tone crisp and authoritative.  Unnecessarily, she adds, "Prefect business."  

No longer worried about getting in trouble, the girl's looking up at Piper with a disdainful expression.  "How am I supposed to know where she is?"  

Piper rolls her eyes. "I don't think your common room's that big.  Can't be much of a search.  And if she's not in there, she'll be in the fifth year girls dorm."  

The kid's heading for the wall.  "Whatever."

"Hey."  Piper pulls her back by the sleeve.  "What's your name?"

"Tricia Miller," she spats.

"Great.  Now go find Alex for me, or I'll give you detention."

"You can't do that!"  

Piper touches her prefect badge again, even less subtle, and smiles challengingly.  "You sure?"

" _Fine_."  The girl groans and turns away, muttering under her breath before biting out a password, "Parseltongue."  

The door appears, and Tricia Miller throws Piper a scornful look over her shoulder as she disappears into it.  Piper can't help but smirk, pleased with herself, as she leans back against the wall to wait.

It takes five slow, impatient minutes before the door appears again, swinging outward as Alex emerges.  She draws her eyebrows together, bemused. "This should be good." 

Piper isn't sure how to respond to that.  It's suddenly occurred to her that there was no real  _reason_ for coming here.  "Sorry," she says finally.  "I wasn't sure how to let you know I was here." 

"This is why you people need cell phones."  

 _You people_.  Piper's noticed Alex does that a lot, still refers to the magical world like she's not part of it.  Most Muggleborns don't do that.  

Quiet stretches out between them.  Alex lifts her eyebrows, expectant.  "Did you need something, Pipes?"  

"Not really."  She doesn't offer up any other expectation.  Alex's robe is on but open, over black shorts and a white tank top.  Piper catches herself staring at Alex's legs and quickly snaps her gaze upwards.   "Have you seen Leanne?"

"Yeah.  She's up there drooling at Doggett's feet.  Literally, almost."  

"Did you say anything to them?"  

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"Haven't worked that out yet."  Alex's voice is infuriatingly calm.  

"Did you talk to Professor Parker or anyone?"  

Alex laughs, once.  "Why?  Everyone saw what happened.  Am I supposed to fill out a report?  "  

"So, what?"  Piper asks harshly, crossing her arms over her chest.  Her whole body feels wound tight.  "She just gets away with it?"

Alex shrugs, still not looking particularly fussed one way or the other.  "I haven't figure out how to deal with it yet.  But I'm not forgetting."  

Piper makes a scoffing sound.  "Oh, great, that's a real comfort."    

Tilting her head, Alex squints at Piper, expression caught between exasperation and amusement.  "Why are you getting mad at  _me_?"

"I'm  _not_ ," Piper snaps, the volume of her voice leaping a few decibels.  But she is.  Wild, irrational anger is gripping the back of her neck, hissing in her ear.  Turning her skin hot.  Making her want to wipe that maddening smirk of Alex's face.

Making her rush forward, toward Alex, sending her backing instinctively into the stone wall just before Piper takes her face in her hands and kisses her.  Just to see what happens.  To see what it's like.

It's like magic, swallowed whole.  

Alex kisses back immediately, her hands coming up to hold Piper's face, a mirror.  It's like she was ready, somehow.  Like she'd been waiting.

* * *

 

They get through their O.W.L.s, somehow.  Alex still feels half drunk on her own dazed, disbelieving happiness, and she forgets to be stressed.  She's near perfect on every practical exam, she's sure of it:  she feels more powerful than ever.

Piper kissed her.  

Piper is her girlfriend.

If that's possible, there's no spell that could give her trouble.  

They make plans for visits over the holidays, which is good, because for the first time ever Alex doesn't want to go home, and it makes her feel guilty.    

One of their last nights in the castle, Alex takes Piper to see the mirror.  She doesn't tell her what it is, just that's it's old and magic, and mostly Alex likes lazily wandering the corridors holding Piper's hand, sometimes tugging her into corners to make out before Peeves bursts through a wall and yells at them.  Piper yelps and practically sprints away, and Alex laughs and innocently denies knowing he was nearby.  

"Here it is..."  Alex's voice takes on an instinctive, hushed tone.  She's never been here with anyone else.  She glances back, sees the curiosity gleaming in Piper's eyes.  

Alex doesn't let go of her hand, nudging Piper gently in front of the mirror, watching her instead of the reflection.  

"Okay...so, is there a spell or something?"  

"No, you just - " Alex stops talking abruptly, finally getting her own look.  

It's just her and Piper, hands joined between them.  

In the mirror, Piper smiles at her.  Alex looks beside her, finds the same smile waiting.  Confused, expectant.  But happy.  "I don't get it.  What's supposed to be happen?"  

Alex shakes her head, throat narrow.  She doesn't know how to explain this without it sounding like too much.

She touches two fingers to Piper's chin, lifting it just a fraction before their lips meet.  

Their reflections do the same.

 

* * *

 

Alex knows it won't always be like that, that she'll come back later and still see her mother, the money, her own status and power.  That she could bring Piper later and see who knows what that has nothing to do with her.  

But tonight, in that moment, there's nothing either of them want more than exactly what they have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! As you can see...we've got two more years left, but those are intended to be more like the second, third, and fourth years were...just vignettes of moments. I WILL be writing those. I have them planned already.
> 
> I've been taking prompts on my Tumblr (alxvse) for missing scenes and drabble prompts to go within my existing AUs, all to be posted next week leading up to season three. So that's what will be coming up. They are overwhelmingly in Young Blood 'verse and You Little Shit/Monster 'verse, as well as a couple for the theme park AU. Nothing super lengthy on their own...at most, I wanted lengthy scenes, but some are shorter drabbles. But there are a lot, and I wanted to get to as many as possible, hence updating this one with less material than I intended. I'll get back to it post-season three, but didn't want it to be even long than a month since I'd touched it. If I'd planned better, this probably should have just been included in the last chapter, so sorry about all the weirdness.

**Author's Note:**

> More of fifth year (and sixth and seventh) coming up after the break. Let me know what you think. Let's not do the whole debating Sorting thing, though. Like, hopefully the intent here is clear even if we all have our own opinions etc etc


End file.
